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Punishment Type: Ban
Punishment Subtype: Server Ban
Appeal Type: Apology
Which staff member issued the punishment?: @Lhealey05
How long were you banned/blacklisted for?: 6 Months
Your Steam Name: WAITWHAT1460-s
Your Roleplay Name: murphy wilnoski
Your SteamID: STEAM_0:0:951010654
Why were you punished?: Mass RDM
Why should this appeal be considered?: It's only been two weeks since I was banned off the server, but honestly, it feels like longer. Each day since then has been kinda hollow in some weird way — not because I cannot play Garry's Mod, but because I cannot play there. That server wasn't merely another server that I could just jump into when I was feeling bored. It was a place that actually mattered to me. It was its own thing, its own sort of community — a group of people who joked and fought and built and wreaked havoc in the most excellent ways. And now I've lost that, not because of bad fortune, but because of me. Because I made a monumentally stupid decision.
I look back on it now, and I still can't figure out why I did it. Mass RDM — it sounds so easy when you just utter the words, but the heaviness of what it really is strikes differently now. I recall that moment as if it's seared into my head: individuals were messing around, voicing their conversation, enjoying themselves. I had this out-of-left-field, crazy thought like, "What if I just did something insane? I didn't take the time to consider what that would be like for anyone else. I didn't consider how it would impact the players who were simply trying to have fun. I reacted without thinking.
Perhaps I was bored, perhaps I was seeking attention, or perhaps I just didn't care in the moment — but the moment it happened, I knew it was wrong.". The conversation exploded in seconds — shouting, screaming out a "Why? ", getting mad. And I don't blame them at all. I recall feeling locked by an admin, knowing that there was no reason I could provide that would make it better. I'd become the very type of person I used to complain about — the one who spoils the fun for everyone else.
Then came the notice: "You've been banned for six months (Mass RDM)." It struck me more severely than I anticipated. I sat there gaping at it, recognizing that there was no one else to fault. Initially, I attempted to dismiss it. I said to myself, "It's okay, it's only a game, I'll play something else." It did not work. Each night, I'd pop open my friends list and notice people still gaming on the server, chuckling in voice chat, creating new experiences that I can no longer share. And that's when it truly hit me. I didn't just lose a server. I lost a community.
I lost a place where I could be myself freely. And it's all due to one dumb, careless moment. What stings the most is that I actually had respect for the admins and players there. I could see how much effort was put into keeping things ticking along — the juggling act of fun and fairness, the work that goes into preventing chaos from turning to toxicity. I could see people assisting new players, constructing neat things, creating moments that made the server special.
And I went and insulted all of that in a moment. I destroyed the trust that the admins placed in me, and worse, I destroyed the trust of the people who simply wanted to play the game without having to deal with crap like that. It's humiliating, really. I've been wondering how I must've appeared to everyone else. Sorry, probably just another troll. Another name on the list of people who don't give a damn. But I do care. I cared then — I just didn't display it. And that's what I regret most. Because I did love being part of that server. It was my after-school place or after-work place.
It was where I laughed, where I found people who made me feel accepted. Now, whenever I think about it, I feel this lump in my chest — this combination of sadness and guilt that does not really subside. To the admins and to the community: I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, and I'm not typing this hoping for any. I'm writing this because I want you to see that I get it now — really get it — why what I did was bad. It wasn't merely "breaking a rule." It was spoiling it for everyone else. It was showing disrespect for the time that goes into making the server enjoyable and equitable. You all trusted me to operate under the same general standards that everyone else does, and I squandered that trust for nothing.
I'm sorry about it. I'm sorry to the admins who had to work with me, to the players whose rounds I wrecked, to the people who likely logged off angry because of what I did. These two weeks have genuinely been tougher than I thought they would be. I assumed I could just move on, but I just end up stuck wondering what did happen. I've discovered that you can't always take a community for granted. It's an privilege, not a right. And when you violate that trust, you lose more than access to a server — you lose the people, the humor, the small things that made it enjoyable.
That's what I miss the most. Those moments that seemed insignificant then but everything to me now. If I ever do get the opportunity to return — even if it's months later — I want to return as a better person. I don't want to be remembered as the one who lost himself and spoiled the fun for everyone else. I want to be someone who brings to the community rather than takes away. I want to regain that trust, even if it takes a while.
I don't expect anyone to forget about what I did.
I hope that, at some point, you'll understand that I mean it when I'm sorry.
For the time being, all I can do is serve out my ban and think. I've learned the hard way — that one lapse of idiocy can cost you something that really meant more to you than you knew. I don't want to excuse myself, because there isn't anything to excuse. I did it. I take responsibility. And I deeply regret it. To all that I hurt and disappointed: I'm really sorry. I'll be carrying that around until I can show you in what I do — not what I say — that I've changed. Whether or not I ever have that opportunity, I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you. Thank you for the good times before I messed it up. Thank you for making that server feel like a place I could call home. And I'm sorry for breaking that. Two weeks in, and it still aches — but perhaps that's a good sign. Perhaps that hurt is what will prevent me from ever repeating the same error again.
Additional Information: If your asking how i wrote all that i was a news writer before being fired.
Punishment Subtype: Server Ban
Appeal Type: Apology
Which staff member issued the punishment?: @Lhealey05
How long were you banned/blacklisted for?: 6 Months
Your Steam Name: WAITWHAT1460-s
Your Roleplay Name: murphy wilnoski
Your SteamID: STEAM_0:0:951010654
Why were you punished?: Mass RDM
Why should this appeal be considered?: It's only been two weeks since I was banned off the server, but honestly, it feels like longer. Each day since then has been kinda hollow in some weird way — not because I cannot play Garry's Mod, but because I cannot play there. That server wasn't merely another server that I could just jump into when I was feeling bored. It was a place that actually mattered to me. It was its own thing, its own sort of community — a group of people who joked and fought and built and wreaked havoc in the most excellent ways. And now I've lost that, not because of bad fortune, but because of me. Because I made a monumentally stupid decision.
I look back on it now, and I still can't figure out why I did it. Mass RDM — it sounds so easy when you just utter the words, but the heaviness of what it really is strikes differently now. I recall that moment as if it's seared into my head: individuals were messing around, voicing their conversation, enjoying themselves. I had this out-of-left-field, crazy thought like, "What if I just did something insane? I didn't take the time to consider what that would be like for anyone else. I didn't consider how it would impact the players who were simply trying to have fun. I reacted without thinking.
Perhaps I was bored, perhaps I was seeking attention, or perhaps I just didn't care in the moment — but the moment it happened, I knew it was wrong.". The conversation exploded in seconds — shouting, screaming out a "Why? ", getting mad. And I don't blame them at all. I recall feeling locked by an admin, knowing that there was no reason I could provide that would make it better. I'd become the very type of person I used to complain about — the one who spoils the fun for everyone else.
Then came the notice: "You've been banned for six months (Mass RDM)." It struck me more severely than I anticipated. I sat there gaping at it, recognizing that there was no one else to fault. Initially, I attempted to dismiss it. I said to myself, "It's okay, it's only a game, I'll play something else." It did not work. Each night, I'd pop open my friends list and notice people still gaming on the server, chuckling in voice chat, creating new experiences that I can no longer share. And that's when it truly hit me. I didn't just lose a server. I lost a community.
I lost a place where I could be myself freely. And it's all due to one dumb, careless moment. What stings the most is that I actually had respect for the admins and players there. I could see how much effort was put into keeping things ticking along — the juggling act of fun and fairness, the work that goes into preventing chaos from turning to toxicity. I could see people assisting new players, constructing neat things, creating moments that made the server special.
And I went and insulted all of that in a moment. I destroyed the trust that the admins placed in me, and worse, I destroyed the trust of the people who simply wanted to play the game without having to deal with crap like that. It's humiliating, really. I've been wondering how I must've appeared to everyone else. Sorry, probably just another troll. Another name on the list of people who don't give a damn. But I do care. I cared then — I just didn't display it. And that's what I regret most. Because I did love being part of that server. It was my after-school place or after-work place.
It was where I laughed, where I found people who made me feel accepted. Now, whenever I think about it, I feel this lump in my chest — this combination of sadness and guilt that does not really subside. To the admins and to the community: I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, and I'm not typing this hoping for any. I'm writing this because I want you to see that I get it now — really get it — why what I did was bad. It wasn't merely "breaking a rule." It was spoiling it for everyone else. It was showing disrespect for the time that goes into making the server enjoyable and equitable. You all trusted me to operate under the same general standards that everyone else does, and I squandered that trust for nothing.
I'm sorry about it. I'm sorry to the admins who had to work with me, to the players whose rounds I wrecked, to the people who likely logged off angry because of what I did. These two weeks have genuinely been tougher than I thought they would be. I assumed I could just move on, but I just end up stuck wondering what did happen. I've discovered that you can't always take a community for granted. It's an privilege, not a right. And when you violate that trust, you lose more than access to a server — you lose the people, the humor, the small things that made it enjoyable.
That's what I miss the most. Those moments that seemed insignificant then but everything to me now. If I ever do get the opportunity to return — even if it's months later — I want to return as a better person. I don't want to be remembered as the one who lost himself and spoiled the fun for everyone else. I want to be someone who brings to the community rather than takes away. I want to regain that trust, even if it takes a while.
I don't expect anyone to forget about what I did.
I hope that, at some point, you'll understand that I mean it when I'm sorry.
For the time being, all I can do is serve out my ban and think. I've learned the hard way — that one lapse of idiocy can cost you something that really meant more to you than you knew. I don't want to excuse myself, because there isn't anything to excuse. I did it. I take responsibility. And I deeply regret it. To all that I hurt and disappointed: I'm really sorry. I'll be carrying that around until I can show you in what I do — not what I say — that I've changed. Whether or not I ever have that opportunity, I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you. Thank you for the good times before I messed it up. Thank you for making that server feel like a place I could call home. And I'm sorry for breaking that. Two weeks in, and it still aches — but perhaps that's a good sign. Perhaps that hurt is what will prevent me from ever repeating the same error again.
Additional Information: If your asking how i wrote all that i was a news writer before being fired.
