You are not blacklisted, you have been suspended as you were about to kill another officer. You had also discharged your gun several times for no apparent reason. See image below.
You seem to have failed to understand how this works, so I will tell you. A complaint has been submitted on you at plpd online. And as we speak, the investigator is waiting for your statement. Login to PLPD Online and submit your statement, then wait for outcome. Suspensions are not lifted just because you are sorry for your actions. A suspension can only be lifted after the complaint or if investigator determines that you are not a danger to others.