5San - The Anonymous Forum! 15 Second Stories!

[Generic Twat]

Anonymous (ID: o89xhgush) 20/8/2017 (Sun) 20:35:01 No. 0000000000000001
File: sadblackman.jpg -( 13 KB, 500X500, sadbackman.jpg)

>be me
>just moved to Paralake
>got a job at Uncle Co's
>selling scrap items
>"Who the fuck would buy scraps instead of real items like screws and shit?"
>guy comes in, wearing suit, a very strange top hat and sports shades
>fuccboi.png
>buys 1000kg of scraps and stores them into his pocket
>pulls out stove out of pocket, begins to just stand there for 15 minutes
>ignore it and keep selling
>stove turns into fire, shop is burning.
>rush out and wait for firefighters
>firefighter never comes
>gets fired for burning down store

>gets job as drug dealer
>hides in dark alleys, waiting for people to buy shit
>same guy comes, wants to sell weed to me
>mfw he has 1000 bags of drugs
>money magically gets transfered to his account, he runs away
>broke.jpg
>checks account ballance
>"-90,000$"
>ohfuck.gif
>buy shit house in a swamp
>live there and fish
>same guy comes with 3 other friends brandishing military grade weapons
>really.mov
>asks for money, got none
>telepathically uses mind to tell me hes bringing an admin
>admin comes, tells me to drop my stuff
>i have nothing
>gets banned from existance
>wtf.jpg

 

[Jimmy]

Anonymous (ID: e69sh3krx) 20/8/2017 (Sun) 21:12:23 No. 0000000000000002
File: thepain.jpg -( 39 KB, 467X662, thepain.jpg)

>be me
>just graduated police academy
>enrolled on active duties as a probationary officer
>dont get a gun yet, guess they think ill shoot a black kid or something
>havent passed driving proficiency yet, have to request a pickup from a police supervisor
>radio in that I'm on duty and available for patrol
>10 cops scream down radio "SHUT THE FUCK UP PROBIE 10-3 EMERGENCY COMMS ONLY"
>wtf.mpeg
>hear a car start up outside, walk into the parking lot
>two cops starting patrol, they let me tag along
>respond to emergency call in the countryside about a robbery
>i start investigating while two other cops just dick around
>panic alarm goes off on radio
>officer in need of assistance, he's been shot in the city
>my partners immediately respond leaving me alone in the forest
>10 cops start shouting at the same time on radio, no idea what they're saying
>one voice down radio silences all others
>"TFU RESPONDING, ALL YOU OTHER FAGGOTS MAKE A PERIMETER"
>i start running back to the city to see if i can help out
>journey takes 3 hours on foot
>finally get to the crime scene
>entire Police Department lying dead outside a single apartment building
>people just walking around ignoring the massive pile of bodies
>thefuck.avi
>child walks up to me in his pyjamas with a funny hat on
>I tell him its going to be ok and that ill get him to safety
>kid pulls sawn off shotgun from his ass and screams "COPS OP NERF TFU REEEEE"
>Blasts me in the face with shotgun and leaves me to bleed out on the street
>some guy in a grey sweater walks up to me as i lie there dying
>i ask him to help me
>he grabs me by the crotch and starts spinning me above his head
>he throws me onto the PD roof
>mfw

 

[JC Denton]

Anonymous (ID: o89xhgush) 20/8/2017 (Sun) 20:35:01 No. 0000000000000003
File: gosling-drive2011.jpg -( 13 KB, 500X280, gosling-drive2011.jpg)

this really happened.

>be me, decent looking playermodel, respectable member of the PLPD
>not many friends, generally because of role, work another shift.
>watches Drive for the first time ever
>changes my roleplay, I want to be Driver
>get my playermodel to look like Ryan Gosling, change clothes to look like what Driver would wear. No scorpion jacket because Xquality hasn't implemented it.
>start behaving like Driver, quiet but cool.
>my brand new Mitsubishi Lancer, double upgraded. Driver would had drove one of these if he were on PERP, plus I can afford it so fuck it.
>Start eating at a Fredy's every night. I like to pretend the NPC knows me, so he "saves me a spot" by the window.
>qt pie player known as Angella Standish-Gore comes into Fredy's, gives me free burgers sometimes and talks to me.
>I reciprocate, but remain vague and brooding. Tells me she's known as Kitty
>ask her if she wants to go for a drive, she gladly accepts.
>cruise the highway, listening to Drive soundtrack.
>drop her off at her subs house, asks if I want to come inside to base with me
>oh fuck yes
>play it cool, brood for a second and reply with "...yeah"..simple
>we base
>Kitty and I start playing with each other
>keep my driver schlick
>she introduces me to her friends, they think i'm cool as fuck.
>some of her dude friends starts wearing the same stuff as I... holy fuck lol
>one night, her and I watch a movie on the TV
>she's browsing movies, she stops on Drive
>Oh fuck....
>"you seen this yet, anon?"
>shit shit shit, play it cool man. what would driver do?
>Brood for a sec, "...nah, it's not my thing".
>ended up watching videos of PERP montages
>suddenly we get raided
>she shoots both the raiders, I don't because the driver doesn't carry a gun, he drives.
>she watches both of the dead men on the floor, then she turns to me with her gun pointing at me
>at this point, I was sure that she didn't mean to point the gun at me
>she turns around
>I remember that I have a baseball bat on me
>beat her fucking skull in
>get into car
>drive into the sunset
>realhumanbean.mp3

we haven't spoken since.

 

[Hazza the Fifty-Sixth]

Anonymous (ID: v1K70rB3l1n5k7) 20/8/2017 (Sun) 21:42:04 No. 0000000000000004
File: scenicroute.jpg -( 20.8 KB, 437X306, scenicroute.jpg)

true story

>be me
>basing with viktor belinsky
>allgood.jpg
>making some autistic defences, raking in those ps
>i decide to get my friend robert crane to join
>nothing wrong with that
>he comes online
>makes his way to glassco
>i let him in
>all goes good for about 10 minutes
>neglected to tell him that base was owned by viktor belinsky
>also neglected to tell viktor belinsky that robert crane was coming
>viktor belinsky comes back from afk
>sees crane
>ohshit.jpg
>"What's this prick doing here?"
>tell him i invited him around
>he brings us both outside at gunpoint
>"Get in."
>i get in his raptor
>he drives us into the forest while crane is tied
>mfw
>i decide to ask him wtf is going on
>"What are we doing"
>"We're taking the scenic route"
>he pulls up outside cabin 2
>drags crane out
>"What I'm about to do is your fault."
>he literally stabs crane to death with a machete because i brought him into his base
>basically pmsl
>viktor leaves me on the highway
>meet up with crane's distant relative at the city hall
>go back to viktors base to get cranes car
>viktor tells us to fuck off
>tfw viktor no longer my perp friend

 

[Eviction Notice]

Anonymous (ID: v6f7KrB6l1Vgk7) 20/8/2017 (Sun) 21:49:04 No. 0000000000000005
File: baby.jpg -( 25 KB, 620 × 372, baby.jpg)

>be me
>go to see movie in cinema about partially deaf kid that drives getaway cars
>like his attitude and decide to go rp it on my favourite gmod server
>change my name, put on some glasses, a jacket and act all quiet
>familiar.jpg
>get in my Honda civic because I can't afford anything else due to my economic situation
>mfw poor as dirt
>go to hungrigies schwien to find that someone actually has a restaurant setup within
>ask if I can take the window seat
>yes
>a cute looking girl with the voice of a twelve year old approaches and asks what I want
>coffee is my life
>suddenly three gunmen charge into the building and tell us all to face the wall
>don't feel like being poorer
>they start arguing about how their car is broken
>victoryface.jpg
>tell them I can drive for them, as long as I get a small cut
>mfw accepted into the cool kids
>police show up as we pile into the Honda civic after mugging those poor people
>180 turn out of parking lot
>forget my ride can only go 60
>police easily catch up as we hit the highway
>crane lane their asses at suburbs
>as the sirens fade I hear one of their steam notifications through their mic
>mfw they're planning to kill me through steam
>make a split second decision and accelerate towards the lake that is approaching
>jump out just before contact
>see their bodies slowly rise above the water as the leeches eat
>grab some of their fat gats and do some sick parkour away from the scene
>"I wasn't slow."

 

[Hazza the Fifty-Sixth]

Anonymous (ID: v1K70rB3l1n5k7) 21/8/2017 (Mon) 00:49:03 No. 0000000000000006
File: naked-banana.jpg -( 256 KB, 516X526, naked-banana.jpg)

>>0000000000000005

Anonymous (ID: v6f7KrB6l1Vgk7) 20/8/2017 (Sun) 21:49:04 No. 0000000000000005
File: baby.jpg -( 25 KB, 620 × 372, baby.jpg)

>be me
>go to see movie in cinema about partially deaf kid that drives getaway cars
>like his attitude and decide to go rp it on my favourite gmod server
>change my name, put on some glasses, a jacket and act all quiet
>familiar.jpg
>get in my Honda civic because I can't afford anything else due to my economic situation
>mfw poor as dirt
>go to hungrigies schwien to find that someone actually has a restaurant setup within
>ask if I can take the window seat
>yes
>a cute looking girl with the voice of a twelve year old approaches and asks what I want
>coffee is my life
>suddenly three gunmen charge into the building and tell us all to face the wall
>don't feel like being poorer
>they start arguing about how their car is broken
>victoryface.jpg
>tell them I can drive for them, as long as I get a small cut
>mfw accepted into the cool kids
>police show up as we pile into the Honda civic after mugging those poor people
>180 turn out of parking lot
>forget my ride can only go 60
>police easily catch up as we hit the highway
>crane lane their asses at suburbs
>as the sirens fade I hear one of their steam notifications through their mic
>mfw they're planning to kill me through steam
>make a split second decision and accelerate towards the lake that is approaching
>jump out just before contact
>see their bodies slowly rise above the water as the leeches eat
>grab some of their fat gats and do some sick parkour away from the scene
>"I wasn't slow."

nice story bro keep it coming man

 

[Tyla Jai]

Anonymous (ID: po0o0o00oooo) 21/8/2017 (Mon) 00:50:01 No. 0000000000000007
File: spaghettios.gif -( 256 KB, 546X370, spaghettios.gif)

WHATS UP SPAGHETTIOS?

 

[Eviction Notice]

Anonymous (ID: v6f7KrB6l1Vgk7) 21/8/2017 (Mon) 00:56:08 No. 0000000000000008

>> 0000000000000007

dude that isn't even a funny meme fucking newfag get off my board

 

[Tyla Jai]

Anonymous (ID: po0o0o00oooo) 21/8/2017 (Mon) 00:59:42 No. 0000000000000009
File: vault.png -( 256 KB, 861X73, vault.png)

>> 0000000000000008

please turn your attention to section 3 of the vault sovereignty act 2017, that offence you have committed in your previous post is actionable by removal of meme access

 

[Sorle]

Anonymous (ID: ih4t3L1v1n9123) 21/8/2017 (Sun) 01:11:12 No. 0000000000000010
File: itreallydobelikedatsometimes.jpg -( 6.23 KB, 115 × 144, itreallydobelikedatsometimes.jpg)

>be me
>just rejoined org after being kicked for a days worth of inactivity
>pmsl
>buys projex 4
>org screaming in chat "KOS COPS SLUMS"
>ohshit.jpg
>whip out the ol' reliable ak-74u that i freshly crafted
>head over in my shit ford transit
>everyones already fucking dead
>mfw
>i say to my org "we can move to p4"
>we all move
>6 tfu pull up
>mfw
>just a prank bro
>plants
>"let's move to office" in org chat
>"i planted"
>nothing
>everyone leaves within 5 minutes
>foreveralone.jpg
>wait john king and co are still in p3 below me
>feelsgoodman
>i go for a piss and grab some water
>come back and i hear a bobby break
>i hear the loudest fucking bong rip
>door opens, 3 sweaters rush in with db shotguns and gat me down
>feelsbadman
>i message a friend on steam
>"are you afk i just got raided"
>"your org raided you"
>"who"
>s u g a v i
>gets 2 week ban for metagaming

>mfw

 

[Eviction Notice]

Anonymous (ID: v6f7KrB6l1Vgk7) 21/8/2017 (Mon) 01:06:46 No. 0000000000000011

>> 0000000000000009

sorry dad

 

[Tyla Jai]

Anonymous (ID: po0o0o00oooo) 21/8/2017 (Mon) 01:09:50 No. 0000000000000012

>> 0000000000000011

details regarding your virtual court date on our teamspeak will arrive shortly

 

[Teemo]

Anonymous (ID: po0o0o00oooo) 21/8/2017 (Mon) 01:11:50 No. 0000000000000012

>> 0000000000000011
Thank Vault we have this thread. Tylas memes are so funny.

 

[Hazza the Fifty-Sixth]

Anonymous ## MOD

(ID: v1K70rB3l1n5k7) 21/8/2017 (Mon) 01:13:03 No. 0000000000000014

>0000000000000011

Stop fucking around on my board.

 

[Tyla Jai]

Anonymous (ID: po0o0o00oooo) 21/8/2017 (Mon) 01:15:05 No. 0000000000000015

>> 0000000000000013

fuck off, you are also getting a court date sent via PM