A cheffz- bricks +first sound cloud release

[Auris]

here is a new banger for you all edited on soundcloud a music video youtube version will be out soon


Commenters { if you are going to comment something negative make it consturctive critism please}

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[walnash]

aaron, when you tell people to only say good things you wont improve.

 

[Niko]

please stop threatening people in game by saying you'll make a drill on them

 

[Auris]

changed it

 

[Auris]

dont make me drill about you ... in the past tense

 

[Kempotent]

When you're rapping you need to have more of a flow to it. As the song is now it sounds as if you're reading off of a piece of paper and having to keep look at it, like literally after every line. I would recommend learning the whole thing if you haven't already so you can recite it without having to read.

Furthermore there are parts in it where you are breathing down into the mic, if you want to pursue this as an actual passion I would highly recommend renting out a recording booth, they're like £8 and it really will boost the quality.

Try not to mumble as much during it as well and find an actual flow in which you can rap to the beat as it sounds as if you are just doing it off of your head.

There are a lot of parts in the song that do not fit the beat either, like random slashing sounds which aren't backed up by a verse, you can always record it in parts and edit it together.

Intro is way too long as well, solid 20 seconds of a stock beat.

Aside all that it is okay but always room for improvement.

 

[walnash]

fax

 

[Deshawn Tyson]

nothing better could be done in this song. it is perfect as it is !