Ban Apology (Admin Meeting)

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Punishment Type: Ban
Appeal Type: Apology
Which staff member issued the punishment?: @flugs
How long were you banned/blacklisted for?: 1 Year

Your Steam Name: bequeath trixibelle motorskift ("Earl wit da money" at the time)
Your Roleplay Name: Yahya Ali
Your SteamID: STEAM_0:1:46527301

Why were you banned/blacklisted?: MassRDM

Why should this appeal be considered?: Hello, my last apology was swiftly denied, probably because I wasn't able to show my true feelings about this ban and the server in general.

Last time, I wrote a desperate attempt, while just having a good time with my friends in a Discord call, so the wording is not very serious, but I hope with this appeal I can show what it is I feel, and how BAD I want to play Perpheads again.

First of all: Yeah I broke the rules, I broke the rules knowing I was breaking the rules. I broke the rules, trying to set a new fucking record. And there have been (I think) 2 other instances of me, being angry and irritated that maybe I lost a shootout, or I had a bad day, and so I'd go, and break the rules (A lot of my other bans are me, playing with good intent, not knowing I broke a rule e.g Threatening a shop that I'd shit and piss on their shop if they didn't lower the prices, which got me 4 months, which wasn't a serious thing I did, you can't even shit or piss in the game). But the first two instances of me breaking the rules, were a long time ago when I was younger and, I took the miracle that is Perpheads for granted.

However, for a very long period after those two instances, I was only banned in the context, of me not trying to break the rules, but having fun and doing cool shit which is the intent of the game. I, of course, learned with every ban. For that long period of time, I really got myself together when playing and followed the rules. I was having a blast, playing, even tho I wasn't RDMing everything and everyone. This is one of the servers, where even with rules followed, I had the time of my life. Every day I played, I would have a new story to tell, new friends, and new ideas for the next day. In that long period of time, I felt like I was, good, feeling like I could actually take on a challenge, or, take on people without having to RDM or break the rules.

This MRDM ban, was at a time in my life when I thought video games had consumed me, and for the better wanted to go out with a bang. This mindset didn't really change for a month or 3 weeks or so. But then I got a job, got older, took myself ACTUALLY together, and figured out that, I didn't need to cut out entertainment to live life. I just needed to balance entertainment, so that I am not stuck. I figured that out with games like TF2 and CSGO for a bit, balancing it with real-life needs and entertainment. I figured out, that cutting games out of the picture was never gonna work, especially since my whole family games, and all my friends do too.

However, after playing CSGO and TF2 for a long time after the ban, I started realizing that, Perpheads was like no other game. I realized that Perpheads was probably the best piece of entertainment, out there. Better than the movies, and better than repetitive CSGO and TF2. I remember the times I played Perpheads while I was taking it seriously, how long I could play, and how much better it was than the other online experiences.

The day I chose to MassRDM, was fueled by a bad experience in real life, and a certain mindset developing for 2 months before the incident.

I'm sorry for what I caused, and I feel very foolish for taking away something so good from myself.

I'm constantly asking my friends to Screenshare on Discord when they're playing, and everything reminds me of how good it was to play, and it reminds me how stupid I was to ruin it.

I know the first apology was denied, but I seriously hope that the administration can see what I truly feel.

Sorry again for causing the trouble I did then, sorry for wasting your time.

Additional Information: It has been 3 months since the ban. I hope, that my ban will expunged, but it is, after all, MassRDM. If removing the ban entirely is not on the table, please please consider lowering it.
 
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