Hello potential terrorists,
On behalf of the CIA we are here to inform you that from now on we will be maintaining complete transparency with our inferiors that are under our protection. We will go over crime states, and other important and relevant information regarding the Agency and terrorism in the city as a whole. This will occur every Friday, where we will compile all data and statistics and present all relevant information gathered.
This week there have been approximately 10 large terror plots unraveled before they could go into effect or harm anyone.
Our agents have put a quick end to 5 sweater raids, as well as an additional 15 terrorist attacks in progress.
With the limited number of resources present at the time, as well as our assistant director, getting deported for the time being we are extremely pleased with these results and plan to execute more Islamic terrorists in the coming weeks. Our drug and gun take-back program has seen little success, so we are giving up on that shit because everyone has fucking guns and drugs.
Here are some of the top headlines that arose from the previous enforcement week that some of our agents witnessed, and prevented.
Pink Panther Gang - Caught raiding sweaters across the city, starting a rivalry with a group of sweaters.
Thankfully our agents were able to intercept the Pink Panther Gang before they could do any serious damage to sweaters or their possessions! Our agents also donated to the group of sweaters and served as protection for the remainder of the night.
Hilly Billy Fuckers raid church ceremony in progress.
Earlier tonight while attending a church service at the church (obviously) a group of hill billy's busted down the back door of the church, killing 5 sweaters, a member of the perpetrator's organization. And took Director Sanders hostage until the police finally intervened. Due to the fact that Dir. Sanders was unarmed he was unable to apprehend and neutralize the threat, as he did not think to bring a gun into a place of worship.
Perpetrators alleged cooperation with local terror groups.
CIA has received reports from multiple informants that the organization "perpetrators" is working closely with small terror groups in the Paralake region that could possibly be sponsored by ISIS. Taking this threat seriously the CIA will be performing an investigation and executing any threats that look Islamic or of terrorist descent. The result of this investigation will be compiled in the next briefing.
For the remainder of the briefing, attention will be brought to the new motions in effect that can be voted for at city hall, we would like to take the time to remind any terrorists that are present within the city that you are PROHIBITED from voting for these motions, and as a reminder there tends to be a CIA agent guarding the polls at all times in case of terror attacks, he will not hesitate to shoot down anyone who LOOKS or SOUNDS like a terrorist (cough @Shay)
Have a wonderful day potential terrorists, remember we will find you.
-Dir. Sanders.
On behalf of the CIA we are here to inform you that from now on we will be maintaining complete transparency with our inferiors that are under our protection. We will go over crime states, and other important and relevant information regarding the Agency and terrorism in the city as a whole. This will occur every Friday, where we will compile all data and statistics and present all relevant information gathered.
This week there have been approximately 10 large terror plots unraveled before they could go into effect or harm anyone.
Our agents have put a quick end to 5 sweater raids, as well as an additional 15 terrorist attacks in progress.
With the limited number of resources present at the time, as well as our assistant director, getting deported for the time being we are extremely pleased with these results and plan to execute more Islamic terrorists in the coming weeks. Our drug and gun take-back program has seen little success, so we are giving up on that shit because everyone has fucking guns and drugs.
Here are some of the top headlines that arose from the previous enforcement week that some of our agents witnessed, and prevented.
Pink Panther Gang - Caught raiding sweaters across the city, starting a rivalry with a group of sweaters.
Thankfully our agents were able to intercept the Pink Panther Gang before they could do any serious damage to sweaters or their possessions! Our agents also donated to the group of sweaters and served as protection for the remainder of the night.
Hilly Billy Fuckers raid church ceremony in progress.
Earlier tonight while attending a church service at the church (obviously) a group of hill billy's busted down the back door of the church, killing 5 sweaters, a member of the perpetrator's organization. And took Director Sanders hostage until the police finally intervened. Due to the fact that Dir. Sanders was unarmed he was unable to apprehend and neutralize the threat, as he did not think to bring a gun into a place of worship.
Perpetrators alleged cooperation with local terror groups.
CIA has received reports from multiple informants that the organization "perpetrators" is working closely with small terror groups in the Paralake region that could possibly be sponsored by ISIS. Taking this threat seriously the CIA will be performing an investigation and executing any threats that look Islamic or of terrorist descent. The result of this investigation will be compiled in the next briefing.
For the remainder of the briefing, attention will be brought to the new motions in effect that can be voted for at city hall, we would like to take the time to remind any terrorists that are present within the city that you are PROHIBITED from voting for these motions, and as a reminder there tends to be a CIA agent guarding the polls at all times in case of terror attacks, he will not hesitate to shoot down anyone who LOOKS or SOUNDS like a terrorist (cough @Shay)
Have a wonderful day potential terrorists, remember we will find you.
-Dir. Sanders.
