PARALAKE POLICE DEPARTMENT
FENTANYL YOGA Receives Official Sanction
Dear colleagues,
Professional Standards, Internal Affairs, and the Road Traffic Unit have evaluated the community interest in FENTANYL YOGA - a racing event series operated by Omar Abu-Almani of ALDI SÜD. After concluding this evaluation, it has been determined that this racing event series brings more good to the city and its citizens than harm.
As such, FENTANYL YOGA will be officially sanctioned by both Professional Standards, Internal Affairs, and the Road Traffic Unit, meaning that the racing series is now permitted to take place by the Paralake Police Department.
The power that allows this sanction rests in General Rule 6d) Peaceful Policies of the Officer Handbook, particulars Ignorant Behaviour In The Application Of Laws To Preserve The Peace.
What does this mean in practice?
- Officers who are on-duty when an official FENTANYL YOGA rally is scheduled to take place should not - under any circumstances - attempt to stop the rally from happening, nor intentionally endanger the lives of any participants who have paid the required entry fee to the Rally Controller, through either pursuits, pitting, or setting of roadblocks on the advertised circuit.
- Command Members from Professional Standards, Internal Affairs, and the Road Traffic Unit will endeavour to be on-duty when an official FENTANYL YOGA rally is scheduled to take place to provide specific instructions over the government radio to those on-duty.
- Professional Standards, Internal Affairs, and the Road Traffic Unit will develop and advertise a Traffic Control Plan that should be adhered to by those on-duty, to ensure that normal road users do not enter the advertised circuit and endanger themselves while the rally is live.
- Any Internal Affairs or Professional Standards Complaints/Helpdesk Tickets that are made against officers who do not intervene in an official FENTANYL YOGA rally will not be taken forward for investigation, and will instead be fast-tracked for closure.
- Any officers who: do not heed this sanction; do not adhere to the Traffic Control Plan; do not adhere to instructions given over the government radio by Professional Standards, Internal Affairs, or Road Traffic Unit Command Members; or attempt to intervene so as to intentionally endanger the lives of registered participants or so as to stop the rally, may be subject to disciplinary action.
Colleagues should note that this does not set a precedent with regards to the Paralake Police Department sanctioning community events that would otherwise be against the law. Please refer to the following historic announcement as an example of when this has been done previously: https://perpheads.com/threads/volunteers-required-ufc-201-security-counter-terrorism.49410/
Colleagues should expect further announcements in advance of each officially scheduled FENTANYL YOGA rally. Colleagues who have any questions, comments, or concerns should make a Helpdesk Ticket directed to Internal Affairs and entitled “FENTANYL YOGA.”
Kind regards,
Deputy Chief of Department Gernot Weissmueller #5555 / @Scrabuz
Major Wolfgang Eisenhammer #1000, Head of Professional Standards / @Collier
Captain Acer Joseph #9025, Head of Internal Affairs / @Acerius
Captain Mandy Sardine #8007, Head of Road Traffic Unit / @flugs
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