Perpheads and Mental Health: A conversation

[Deleted member 4084]

I've just deleted around 10 replies to this thread for being shit posts; this post is there to open a conversation not spark something that is slowly spiraling out of control.

 

[Nottoc]

One of the biggest problems that faces this community is that people take out their personal opinions/feelings about players out in RP situations, under the guise that is it just RP. This tends to just lead to an overall unpleasant experience, where users feel harassed, this in turn leads to people taking what happens in game personally. Whether it be the same on-duty cop, the crims that keep raiding you or just a generic minge who might be pushing the RP to a bit of a personal extreme for you.

this quote is pretty good too:

The “No life loser cop who keeps ticketing you and / or doesn’t know how to do his job” Would probably be your mate if you were classmates as having an interest in this sort of game alone would be enough to bond over.

It is no big secret that people rely on this server, it is extremely common to game for about 4-6 hours at a time. Some of the people laughing and mocking this thread probably have over a month in playtime on this server alone (if not more lmfao), something clearly brings them back to play and engage in this community whether they realise it, want to accept it or just pretend that there isn't some kind of mental stimuli for playing the server.

This community isn't the best for addressing mental health, really.

 

[Tetra]

Bearing in mind its been over a year and a half since I played on perp.

Let’s be honest guys

The world is shit
There’s a cost of living crisis,
mental health issues in under 25’s and 18s is raising every year.
Fuck all support for mental health conditions

back when I was a lil shit who spent most of there time on perp ngl I used it as I had no control in my life (long story) and perp gave me that sense of control I needed

However was this a healthy outlet at all?
Absolutely not

I went through periods of taking a break from Prep and ngl was Probobly the best thing I ever did.

People will use the internet as an escape
Is this healthy (it depends)

This thread has raised some concerns for example players spending more than 6 hrs a day on perp. Is this healthy? No? However are we to tell people how they spend there time… no



I think it would be inttesting to get some data on the avg amount of time a player is on the server for

I do think however the massive issue with perp is that people turn ooc grudges into IC issues or decide to go on witch hunts which isn’t helping anyone

 

[Sneaky]

Each time I play on the server, I feel increasingly stressed. This sensation began years ago, but now I actually realize how badly it affects me. In the past, I struggled to cope with it and usually splurged it out in some rant against some policy or rule or whatever.

I started playing here over 8 years ago, as a a little squeaker, quite different from the usual zoomer lifestyle. I wasn't bad at school, but i found it highly unenjoyable. I spent a lot of time at home, playing Perp and other games with my close group of friends. I had plenty of free time. Taking days or weeks to grind for a car powergrowing, or applying for a billion PD roles didnt matter because i would be behind my computer regardless.

On the rare occasions I was suspended or demoted, it annoyed me. Nevertheless, I continued playing anyway because i still enjoyed it.

Like other older Perp players, I now have a full-time job i like, a house to pay for, a girlfriend to cherish, and many family and friend commitments. Even a cat to feed! Just the idea of 'having to play 2 hours to maintain rank x or perk y' is mentally and physically draining. I value my health and what i do is just, ignore it. My brain doesn't deem it a concern to worry about. It goes on the dump of concerns to worry about later, like the tax I still need to file, the grass i need to mow and the broken lightbulb in my hallway that has not been fixed yet since i moved in...
It's easy to think and say you can 'make time' or it's 'just an hour or two'. If you believe this, trust me, you will experience it—just not yet. I'm typing this in the shower in a vacation home in Germany, actually. Because it's the first moment in months where i have 'me' time that isn't limited by time constraints. At this moment i'd probably enjoy a bit of perp, but i lost my TFU role due inactivity and after 8 bloody years i do not want to guard permiter and risk a fucking subordination written warning by some Sweaty sergeant. So I don't hop on, even though i kind of want to.

Sometimes I do make an hour or two free, . I head to the attic, clear the dust from my PC, start up Garry's Mod, log into Perp, go on duty, drive around, and within 5 minutes, I press Alt+F4. I can't pinpoint what events cause this. Sometimes, nothing even occurs. Yet, when I stop playing, I feel relieved, as if a screaming child in the grocery store finally shuts the fuck up. If I have to give a cause now i'd frustrated by radio misuse, the lack of genuine roleplay, and the growing focus on paperwork—forms, tickets, requests, and applications. I used to joke that Perp has more administration than a real Police Department, and now that I work at one, honestly, it's eerily similar!

However, that's just one facet. Another annoyance is the toxic atmosphere in Perp, comparable to a malfunctioning, unventilated attic geyser. Its extremely prevalent, odorless and invisible. We come in contact with it every day, by levels not lethal enough, yet still harmful.

Any attempt of roleplay is met by an inpatient crim hav ak type of guy that i would honestly believe is ran by a badly trained AI model. Because all it repeats is IA COMPLAINT and SUPERVISOR. The rules are bent in ways lawyers of British Petroleum would be jealous of all to justify turning the game into a call of duty match. I'm not kidding when i say you people threaten me with IA's more than people in real life tell me they pay my salary.

This is all proven by the fact that peoples Feelings are argued and invalidated in this very thread. The fact people are being vulnerable and are opening themselves up only to receive critiques on how they feel is the reason this community is unable to improve. A safeguarding form doesn't change that.


If you're still Reading this on page four of this thread you might ask yourself why i even bother to reply, and be here. Thruth is i still care about the community i spend 9 years in, that made me who i am and even influenced my career path.

 

[andreW]

People taking it too seriously / becoming addicted r the problems, people need to learn self control. Everyone is forgetting it's just a roleplay server on garry's mod with a big age disparity

 

[SomeUser456]

Each time I play on the server, I feel increasingly stressed. This sensation began years ago, but now I actually realize how badly it affects me. In the past, I struggled to cope with it and usually splurged it out in some rant against some policy or rule or whatever.

I started playing here over 8 years ago, as a a little squeaker, quite different from the usual zoomer lifestyle. I wasn't bad at school, but i found it highly unenjoyable. I spent a lot of time at home, playing Perp and other games with my close group of friends. I had plenty of free time. Taking days or weeks to grind for a car powergrowing, or applying for a billion PD roles didnt matter because i would be behind my computer regardless.

On the rare occasions I was suspended or demoted, it annoyed me. Nevertheless, I continued playing anyway because i still enjoyed it.

Like other older Perp players, I now have a full-time job i like, a house to pay for, a girlfriend to cherish, and many family and friend commitments. Even a cat to feed! Just the idea of 'having to play 2 hours to maintain rank x or perk y' is mentally and physically draining. I value my health and what i do is just, ignore it. My brain doesn't deem it a concern to worry about. It goes on the dump of concerns to worry about later, like the tax I still need to file, the grass i need to mow and the broken lightbulb in my hallway that has not been fixed yet since i moved in...
It's easy to think and say you can 'make time' or it's 'just an hour or two'. If you believe this, trust me, you will experience it—just not yet. I'm typing this in the shower in a vacation home in Germany, actually. Because it's the first moment in months where i have 'me' time that isn't limited by time constraints. At this moment i'd probably enjoy a bit of perp, but i lost my TFU role due inactivity and after 8 bloody years i do not want to guard permiter and risk a fucking subordination written warning by some Sweaty sergeant. So I don't hop on, even though i kind of want to.

Sometimes I do make an hour or two free, . I head to the attic, clear the dust from my PC, start up Garry's Mod, log into Perp, go on duty, drive around, and within 5 minutes, I press Alt+F4. I can't pinpoint what events cause this. Sometimes, nothing even occurs. Yet, when I stop playing, I feel relieved, as if a screaming child in the grocery store finally shuts the fuck up. If I have to give a cause now i'd frustrated by radio misuse, the lack of genuine roleplay, and the growing focus on paperwork—forms, tickets, requests, and applications. I used to joke that Perp has more administration than a real Police Department, and now that I work at one, honestly, it's eerily similar!

However, that's just one facet. Another annoyance is the toxic atmosphere in Perp, comparable to a malfunctioning, unventilated attic geyser. Its extremely prevalent, odorless and invisible. We come in contact with it every day, by levels not lethal enough, yet still harmful.

Any attempt of roleplay is met by an inpatient crim hav ak type of guy that i would honestly believe is ran by a badly trained AI model. Because all it repeats is IA COMPLAINT and SUPERVISOR. The rules are bent in ways lawyers of British Petroleum would be jealous of all to justify turning the game into a call of duty match. I'm not kidding when i say you people threaten me with IA's more than people in real life tell me they pay my salary.

This is all proven by the fact that peoples Feelings are argued and invalidated in this very thread. The fact people are being vulnerable and are opening themselves up only to receive critiques on how they feel is the reason this community is unable to improve. A safeguarding form doesn't change that.


If you're still Reading this on page four of this thread you might ask yourself why i even bother to reply, and be here. Thruth is i still care about the community i spend 9 years in, that made me who i am and even influenced my career path.

Honestly i been debating about like sharing my opinion on hear, but this comment ty for writing this.

Like im only new in reality, i have plenty of hours too play due too working from home, but it dont make me happy, The fact that i cannot see myself playing much more atm just too the fact that i just feel like perp is one toxic thing, bearing in mind i was a squeaker but i grew up on 360 u know when the buzz at the time was saying things that you cannot say you know, so yea having think skin helps but thats only a deterant from why can people not be nice man, Im not the nicest person at times but im not going too constently say to someone KYS because i would not like that said too me and because i would not wish that on people, again i get its an online game but i just want too keep it semi friendly. People should not have too be rediculed for how they feel on a server so please keep it civil

Game wise, i find that when your trying too like make money, its sometimes a bit of a drag (coming from a destiny player thougth but this is just observation), the way the game just feels i guess puts me on edge, being like oh god hears a super expensive car i am driving and then bam tired car 28k or something like that out the bank just is infurating, cops pulling guns on you for no reason then it feels like nothing gets done when u report it, and just being around constent shooting where if u tab out your dead.

However i dont want too leave off on a bad note, because the point of this complaining is too find the good in the madness aswell, People that i have spoke too before and have befriended and that you can have a joke with and just talk too. another thing i forgot too mention is that this only aplies too a certian amount of people because majory are not dicks for example me raiding bank with satella nazeer jack locks franko jodie and the majority of Jysk they just brought me along and they keep bring me along and we became good friends for it, Dank having the Best / Worst driving i have ever seen or the time where making meth in CH became an explosive thing not by the meth however and this has made my sides hurt from laughing.

So if u take away anything just take that fact we are all human at the end of the day with emotions and fellings not robots, we all have them days and if gaming makes u happy go ahead however dont let it become a choure too play even thought its roleplay there is fun too have in this so please be civil and dont be a dick.

Thanks for looking

 

[LilacAndGooseberries]

I believe alot of people unfortunally are not mentally stable enough to deal with alot of stress etc, that being said there is no excuse for the amount of hate and “well its only a game so dont take it to heart.“ Most of the people playing on the server are either adults or old enough to know better then to use extensive and personal insults, for instance the amount of homophobia/transphobia/sexism/xenophobia/racism etc that I have seen in the short time I have been here. Sometimes we forget people can’t go out and do the things they want so they look to Games to experience the things that they’re missing. Mental health is an important thing to talk about, sometimes maybe if you think someone isnt doing well then stop and take a moment to ask them if theyre okay, or how theyre doing. Do not be a asshole as youre getting a reaction out of them and use that to provoke people even further. That being said, it is a game and some of the in game insults need to be taken with a pinch of salt as theyre aimed at your characters and not you. Sometimes if you think things are getting too much for you its okay to just take a few days off and have a you week, if your friends ask tell them you need a break and be open about it. Forcing yourself onto a game or playing in general when youre in a bad headspace-expecially a game like gmod I wouldnt recomend or I would recomend the minute you feel like something is wrong to quit and just think about it a little more. Make sure if youre expecially upset to just chill, do something that makes you happy or enjoy like music or reading maybe, watching your favourite tv show even. Lastely DO NOT be afraid to reach out to people who understand what youre going through or who are willing to help (myself included in this.) We are human beings we make mistakes and we have emotions, but at the end of the day it shouldnt be a struggle to play or talk to people and if you think it is maybe take a step back and decide on something else to do that day. I think at the end of the day we just have to be a little nicer to each other and more open minded, I know its a hard thing to ask because so many people dont appreciate that or want to partake but its something we need to learn no matter what age we are.

Rant over.

 

[Sorle]

i think its very unlikely that the root cause of anyones mental health struggles will be perp but i think perp can HEAVILY exacerbate any underlying problems and bring them to the absolute forefront in the most extreme ways especially when people lack other hobbies

• the nature of the gameplay is just inherently stressful and unforgiving in comparison to a lot of other games/servers
• for a lot of PD positions theres 50 different monthly requirements
• there's a boatload of rules to remember and not breaking them isn't the easiest unless you're experienced - and if you have no other hobbies, which i know a lot of players (previously myself included) dont, being banned is very stressful and unpleasant
• i'm not sure how it is now but previously community-wide attitudes towards each other have been very cutthroat and people are rather unforgiving when they get one thing which they can use to form a negative perception of you
• toxic shitter esport players piss everyone off
• there are just some genuine cunts who wear you down and get away with it because they toe the line for maximum cunt yield over time
• gameplay can be very addictive so its easy to place an excessive amount of value on things that just arent that deep in the grand scheme of things
• making money can be a very big timesink so losing that money via guns or car wrecks etc just feels like you wasted a fuckload of time for nothing

i think if youre finding yourself to just be consistently excessively stressed out over perp then thats a sign of other problems which you might want to look inwards for - from personal experience i know it showed me where a lot of my problems were, i mean the ticking time bomb meme came from the fact that i was known for my sheer mental instability because perp was just sending all of my issues into overdrive because i had no life, compared to now where im just so far past that

i dont think this is the best place for people with fragile mental health however i also dont think theres much to really be done about that, its just a sad truth that i dont see an easy way of fixing

dont die for perp, take a break

 

[MaverickRat]

although i lack the mental strength to understand all this, for some people games are their life and when its interrupted your world can feel shattered i feel , im not attached in that sense but ive known people that where

 

[Hoblit]

From what I’ve caught in my random perp periods over the years, people are generally more unfriendly these days than years ago. The server is also much more competetive, which I guess contributes to this.

That’s just what I think, I have not played more than two months in a row for 7-8 years now.

 

[Bnjemann]

From what I’ve caught in my random perp periods over the years, people are generally more unfriendly these days than years ago. The server is also much more competetive, which I guess contributes to this.

That’s just what I think, I have not played more than two months in a row for 7-8 years now.

Someone could scream the N word in your face during an arrest 200 times and it was just considered RP Back when I first joined so I would argue that being unfriendly is rarer now than it’s ever been. It’s only been recently that ive been actually enjoying speaking to some people I’ve never met.

 

[tyIer]

PERP is like a haven for the mentally ill. Essentially any role-play situation is. Things you can't achieve in life:
- Want to be a cop, but can't due to mental illness? Well you can be on here
- Want to feel powerful by power-tripping? We have that too! Just become a cop, or even better a civilian with a god complex. No one can knock you out if your org will shoot them. Besides even if they do, you'll respawn and look for ways to fuck with them, even though you're not supposed to.
- Lack any control in your life? Oh well, join PERP, rank up in PLPD or just shoot well and people will want to be controlled by you
- Feel lonely? Go to bazaar and find a conversationalist
- Want something addictive? Sure. We got gambling or power-growing which is essentially cookie clicker, but people can steal the cookies from you.
- Want a relationship (as a heterosexual guy)? Find anyone who sounds like a woman and follow them around religiously.
- Feel depressed? Anxious? No worry. Trauma dump to a random guy and never talk to him again.
- Praying on the mentally ill, underage or both? Offer them benefits of your powerful in-game position in exchange.
- Anger management issues? Just annoy someone until they punch you and then shoot them, then freak out on the forums why someone banned you. Then get banned on the forums.
- Feel the need to ruin other peoples fun, because you hate yourself? Yes. Just interrupt every RP situation and pretend to be a sovereign citizen whenever you see a cop, because you still think the action you repeated 50x times are still funny and original.
- Watched too much Ben Shapiro during your teens? No worries. There will always be a group of people to validate your feelings.
- Want to say the N-word a bunch? Well not anymore, but you were allowed to not too long ago.

Do I need to continue?

He do be correct

 

[Isaac Kalashnikov]

Someone could scream the N word in your face during an arrest 200 times and it was just considered RP Back when I first joined so I would argue that being unfriendly is rarer now than it’s ever been. It’s only been recently that ive been actually enjoying speaking to some people I’ve never met.

I still get screamed with the N-word countless times by sweater or ppl about to get banned during my time. However I don't get offended by it cause I'm yellow. Better call me banana Nxxx instead.

 

[Eric Jonson]

although i lack the mental strength to understand all this, for some people games are their life and when its interrupted your world can feel shattered i feel , im not attached in that sense but ive known people that where

Video games are pretty much life for me. Im not going to go into detail pubicily if your curious my DMs are open but I don't live exactly the best life in the world and I know I'm not alone but for me video games help out so much. I can't even begin to describe the amount of friendships I've made and how many wonderful memories I've made thanks to video games. I dont have many people IRL and I honestly rely on shit like this because life is really fucking hard but I always manage somehow. Video games are a way to escape the shitshow that is my life and I honestly value it so much because it's helped me. Is it good to sit down at a computer all day and do nothing ? No probably not but at least I can smile and say at times i am truly happy in moments. I do get out of the house and hang with the very few people that are close friends to me but everyone is busy and at times video games is all I got somedays.

 

[Sindarin]

I feel like my way of dealing with a lot of PERP was to do the following:

Always have it behind other things, and if I was going to do anything on PERP long enough I would need to find a way for it to assist irl, and I've found ways (mainly through development of things) to gain experience in various things that will assist me in my career, and I once used a PERP website as a final project (and got a great grade : D and a invitation to a research group).

 

[Bnjemann]

I still get screamed with the N-word countless times by sweater or ppl about to get banned during my time. However I don't get offended by it cause I'm yellow.

Yeah but the stark difference is now you can report it and you’ll probably never see that person on the server again rather than staff essentially telling you politely to fuck yourself and cry about it and sometimes even dropping, and I quote “It’s seriousRP, if you don’t like it leave” in reports of this nature, which would be met with widespread agreement from the community. We are objectively in a better place now than we’ve been in years.

 

[Tilin]

Yeah but the stark difference is now you can report it and you’ll probably never see that person on the server again rather than staff essentially telling you politely to fuck yourself and cry about it and sometimes even dropping, and I quote “It’s seriousRP, if you don’t like it leave” in reports of this nature, which would be met with widespread agreement from the community. We are objectively in a better place now than we’ve been in years.

I wouldn't say discrimination was even one of the biggest issues. The lengths people would go to harass people was insane. And everybody teamed up against a person, just because someone who was "cool" said so. As if it were highschool.

But then again. Majority of us still here have grown up. A lot of us that are still in the community went from highschool kids, to people with actual responsibilities. We grew as people in general and so has the community with us. That is evident if you look at the previous years when we talked about mental health on the forums (Similar threads down below)

I think I can publicly state that the community has done @ErmakDimon wrong when he was still playing and pushed someone away from the community who was just trying to have fun and even produced content for us to enjoy. He was harassed, insulted, followed around and I can probably go on and blabber.

So we are improving in terms of being more healthy as a community. But we're still not there yet.

 

[ErmakDimon]

I think I can publicly state that the community has done @ErmakDimon wrong when he was still playing and pushed someone away from the community who was just trying to have fun and even produced content for us to enjoy. He was harassed, insulted, followed around and I can probably go on and blabber.

Looking back at it, I was just a stupid kid doing dumb things thinking I was cool back then. There was a strong disconnect between me and the rest of the community both because of my age at the time as well as my nationality, and consequently, the environment I had grown up in, so naturally people made fun of me.

As far as mental health goes, I feel that all this at the time resulted in me growing up as a stronger person with thicker skin, however there are probably many hidden things that have had an deep and underlying effect on my personality that all stem from my time here at Perpheads.

You're right in saying that old perp was more like high school, being very competitve, and there were "cool" and "uncool" members of the community who would set the trends. I did take it too seriously back then, so anything that happened on here would have a significant effect on my day to day life, but, for example, if it weren't for perp, I wouldn't be so fluent in English today and wouldn't be able to hold the job that I do.

I think it just all comes down to knowing when to quit or take a break. It's really not healthy, neither physically nor mentally, when video games, especially with such a competitve element, take up most of your life. Looking back at 5-6 years ago, I wish I would've spent more time outside or learning to socialize and making friends than I did playing virtual cop and making songs about @Tyla Jai haha.

But at the end of the day, It's all just a game and the best thing about it being on the internet is, you can turn it off, log out and people will leave you alone. You don't have to worry about running into them on the street or meeting them in class or anything. Even at the height of the Ermak cringe train, I don't recall ever being doxxed. People once found my face from and old youtube video and made a meme of it, but that's about it. So when you feel like it's too much, just turn the pc off, go outside and switch things up for a bit. It goes a long way.