Hey everyone,
Now I know that this may seem kinda cheesy or anything of that sort and you might not even know who I am. But I know who I was, and I know that wasn't me. Almost a year ago I was promoted to the rank of Enforcer and within two weeks time was promoted to Moderator. As an Enforcer I did the job quite well, hence my promotion to Moderator but that's all insignificant. As a Moderator I failed to do my duty most of the time and I failed to acknowledge that. Today I was a little bored and wanted to take a field trip back into some old Ban Requests and Ban Appeals that I had dealt with as a Moderator. Something that I noticed was that on the forums I was quite thorough and really did the job that I was assigned. For some reason, I just wasn't a good server Moderator. I fooled around with players, FailRP'ed in situations where it wasn't okay (not that it is ever okay, but in certain self-deemed situations with staff and or late at night with your one other buddy, it can be considered okay.) and sometimes I just couldn't do Moderator situations without completely failing and letting the entire final verdict fall apart. Now no, I'm not making another staff application, although I would love to join up again and be part of the team again, I'm just not ready for that commitment yet with school and all that, and neither are you as I don't feel deserving of the position at all. I've gone back and realized that a lot of the stuff that I did back then was really not to great and goes against my morals today. I really just wanted to make a formal apology to all you guys and anyone that I affected by my failure to preform some actions. I have ADD and OCD which I've been getting some help with a lot more recently and I really have changed from that failed Moderator that still resides in a corner trying so hard to be a joke but just can't flap it's wings hard enough. I've really progressed since then, and I just wanted you guys all to know that, as it really makes me happy to see all my immaturity fall behind and really see what I've done and the impact that I've had on some people and try to change that for the better. You never know, maybe once school calms down and tests and applications are all over I can join up again and maybe eventually in a year or so become an Enforcer again. I really do miss the good times and the experience that Perpheads has given me is larger than I could have ever imagined. You all are somewhere special in my life poking your heads out at different times whether I know it or not, improving myself. And I believe that people can change, it's hard, and a rarity, but with enough determination, small mistakes can turn into great lessons.
I'd also like to specifically apologize to the entire staff team that had been active during my service as it gave you guys a bad reputation as well for tolerating me as a staff member and sometimes defending myself. I'd also like to apologize to Andii and Garo, they are two great guys down at heart, and I was so against them for so long and realized now that I've just been so childish about them and only ever wanted their bans to stay so that I would have something to show for. I apologize to you guys, you really are great people and sometimes I think it's hard for me to see that as you had such a negative impact on me being part of the reason for my demotion. But you know what, you guys were right. I should have been demoted right then and there during that whole 4 AM incident that I'm sure you guys remember. You had every right to make that demotion request and looking back I wished it had gotten accepted as it would have taught me a lesson earlier. And even though you guys did break a few rules, I should have been more clear to anyone who at that time had done anything against the rules that it was time to stop messing around and playing mini-games. Now my argument somewhat deteriorated over the past 15 minutes of writing this, but my point still pulses strong in it. I've made some bad mistakes that I regret entirely and I was very childish at being a Moderator. I apologize to anyone I affected deeply and insignificantly.
Thanks so much for all the life lessons that I've learned over the past year.
- Blackdown
Now I know that this may seem kinda cheesy or anything of that sort and you might not even know who I am. But I know who I was, and I know that wasn't me. Almost a year ago I was promoted to the rank of Enforcer and within two weeks time was promoted to Moderator. As an Enforcer I did the job quite well, hence my promotion to Moderator but that's all insignificant. As a Moderator I failed to do my duty most of the time and I failed to acknowledge that. Today I was a little bored and wanted to take a field trip back into some old Ban Requests and Ban Appeals that I had dealt with as a Moderator. Something that I noticed was that on the forums I was quite thorough and really did the job that I was assigned. For some reason, I just wasn't a good server Moderator. I fooled around with players, FailRP'ed in situations where it wasn't okay (not that it is ever okay, but in certain self-deemed situations with staff and or late at night with your one other buddy, it can be considered okay.) and sometimes I just couldn't do Moderator situations without completely failing and letting the entire final verdict fall apart. Now no, I'm not making another staff application, although I would love to join up again and be part of the team again, I'm just not ready for that commitment yet with school and all that, and neither are you as I don't feel deserving of the position at all. I've gone back and realized that a lot of the stuff that I did back then was really not to great and goes against my morals today. I really just wanted to make a formal apology to all you guys and anyone that I affected by my failure to preform some actions. I have ADD and OCD which I've been getting some help with a lot more recently and I really have changed from that failed Moderator that still resides in a corner trying so hard to be a joke but just can't flap it's wings hard enough. I've really progressed since then, and I just wanted you guys all to know that, as it really makes me happy to see all my immaturity fall behind and really see what I've done and the impact that I've had on some people and try to change that for the better. You never know, maybe once school calms down and tests and applications are all over I can join up again and maybe eventually in a year or so become an Enforcer again. I really do miss the good times and the experience that Perpheads has given me is larger than I could have ever imagined. You all are somewhere special in my life poking your heads out at different times whether I know it or not, improving myself. And I believe that people can change, it's hard, and a rarity, but with enough determination, small mistakes can turn into great lessons.
I'd also like to specifically apologize to the entire staff team that had been active during my service as it gave you guys a bad reputation as well for tolerating me as a staff member and sometimes defending myself. I'd also like to apologize to Andii and Garo, they are two great guys down at heart, and I was so against them for so long and realized now that I've just been so childish about them and only ever wanted their bans to stay so that I would have something to show for. I apologize to you guys, you really are great people and sometimes I think it's hard for me to see that as you had such a negative impact on me being part of the reason for my demotion. But you know what, you guys were right. I should have been demoted right then and there during that whole 4 AM incident that I'm sure you guys remember. You had every right to make that demotion request and looking back I wished it had gotten accepted as it would have taught me a lesson earlier. And even though you guys did break a few rules, I should have been more clear to anyone who at that time had done anything against the rules that it was time to stop messing around and playing mini-games. Now my argument somewhat deteriorated over the past 15 minutes of writing this, but my point still pulses strong in it. I've made some bad mistakes that I regret entirely and I was very childish at being a Moderator. I apologize to anyone I affected deeply and insignificantly.
Thanks so much for all the life lessons that I've learned over the past year.
- Blackdown
