I used to suffer with depression and its not nice at all. It was alot easier for me to hide inside my room for months and not face the outside then to try and converse with the outside world.
I realised the problem was me..its not worth being a victim to your own mentality, the only thing that is stopping you from becoming, is you.
The fact you have achnowledged that perp is not healthy for you is a start, you need the balance and I hope you find it brother.
Take care,
godspeed.