External Appeals
Bot
- Messages
- 300
- Reaction score
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- Points
- 0
Punishment Type: Ban
Appeal Type: Apology
Which staff member issued the punishment?: Spook
How long were you banned/blacklisted for?: Permanent
Your Steam Name: Zexinity
Your Roleplay Name: -
Your SteamID: STEAM_0:1:151129350
Why were you banned/blacklisted?: 1.1 - User sent another user messages over steam containing offensive, racist, disdainful and defamatory material. Extended to community-wide.
Why should this appeal be considered?: Dear PERPheads community,
Firstly, I would like to thank everyone for their time reading this appeal. Most of you probably have no idea who I am and what I have done to have received this punishment. In short, I have said some insanely vulgar and disdainful things to a member of the community which I have absolutely no reason for. Before this incident I was an upstanding member of the community who followed the rules and contributed to the warm and welcoming community of PERPheads (at least in my opinion). To this day I still have no clue what led me to sending such harmful messages to a member of the community. Of course I can say I was a kid back then, but that still does not justify anything. Truthfully, there is no justification at all for anything that was said then, nor is there any reason to reconsider my punishment, seeing as what I have said.
However, after being banned for over four years I have had a lot of time to think back on my actions and its impact. I now know how much such messages can hurt a person, how much such insults can lead a person to a downward spiral, how much bullying can impact a person’s life, and how this impacted the sense of safety and security PERPheads had created. The things I said should never ever come out of anyone’s mouth, in fact it shouldn’t even have been in my head. I would like to again very deeply apologize to Mr. Hatch for my actions and the impact it has had on him. I had never considered the deep impact another person’s actions can have on someone, which I have now learned the hard way. Thinking back, if I were in the position of Mr. Hatch I would have been in a very bad place too, which I never meant to impose on him. I have, ever since the incident, wanted to apologize to Mr. Hatch personally, however this has not taken place as I had no way of contacting him after the incident, which I totally understand.
In the last four years I have grown a lot as a person, especially emotionally and intelligently. I had always been a locked up kid in my room who never experienced the outdoor world. Now that I “set free” I have been encountered with many scenarios where I didn’t know how to act as I had never been in such scenarios before. This “new life” has opened many doors and led me to reflect on my past. I now see what kind of person I was back then. Though I never meant to hurt anybody, the things I said were in no way okay. If I could reverse the things I had done I would, but unfortunately there is no such thing in life and you have to live with the repercussions of your actions which I wholeheartedly accept. In no way or shape would I have gone easy if somebody did this to me. No person should ever be disrespected in the way I acted, everybody should be treated equally and fairly with respect. I have also met a ton of new people and listened to their stories, where I learnt how much of an impact disrespectful comments can have on a person. I am genuinely ashamed of my behavior in the past and do not support any such behavior. I can say I have changed, though this still does not justify my actions nor repercussions. Over the last four years I have done all I can to improve as a person and make the people around me happy, especially my patience and communication in resolving conflicts.
Additionally, I would like to apologize to the staff team of PERPheads for the messed up things you had to read and deal with during my process. Over the time I have contacted many staff members of PERPheads, which I want to apologize to as I should not have constantly bothered them with my request for forgiveness. I know this is my sixth ban appeal or so, but I still regularly think back on the good times I had on PERPheads and want to experience it again. I also regularly look at the forums and the updates as PERPheads still interests me. I have spent over 2000 hours on the server, also spent probably over 1000 euros on selling premium (it was worth it though), demonstrating the passion I had for the game and community. I loved roleplaying with the community, especially the Paralake Police Department, which has actually led me to doing my current university studies “Security Studies”. I know the staff does not want me unbanned after the things I said and I know words alone cannot erase what I have done, but I hope I can spark even the slightest thought in your minds of reconsidering my punishment. Even if it means I am banned for years more to come, or need to prove my worth over the forums, I am thankful for anything and hope to see a future where I can return to the community.
Thanks again for reading my appeal and I hope everybody has a happy new year. I truly find it astonishing how the staff team and community have made PERPheads what it is now and the dedication that is put into it. Regardless of the outcome, I wish the best for PERPheads and its members. I am deeply sorry for the harm I have caused to this community.
Additional Information: TLDR: I am genuinely ashamed of the actions I have committed that have severely impacted the community. These actions are in no way tolerable and should be punished. In the last 4 years I have grown a lot as a person, experiencing the outside world, especially what people have been through and how actions can impact someone’s sense of safety and security has shown me a lot and changed me. The actions I have committed are correctly punished, I just hope to show you all that I have changed and can redeem myself back into the community and contributing to PERPheads, and therefore with this appeal I hope to have sparked a reconsideration in the punishment I have received and be granted any form of pardon.
