Goodbye...

[Puma]

edit

 

[MCGSCEFFAAWHETJH55555]

TinySlayer cannot find anything to criticize himself so he compensates for that (and his size) with insulting every other staff member and secretly showering himself in praise like the narcissist he is. Only thing he does well is being a relevant mayor, but not a competent one.

 

[Daigestive]

@LEWIS 088 was last seen: Dec 6, 2017

@LEWIS 088 was last seen (on server): Dec 6, 2003

inactive skank get your shit together

Last seen December 6th 1945 the dirty Nazi.

 

[money]

up your roasts
they're worse than the staff team

also edited main post to 10.000$ for bonus pmsl mistype

 

[Smeris]

@Samuel

 

[rat]

**WRITTEN BY MATT DOUGGY DOUG DOUGATRON DOUGLAS**

D3v is an unemployed bufty who lies to the council saying he is looking for work and claims job seekers allowence benifits whilst he spends it on his 2 papa johns a day in a bid to join the army by "bulking up". Despite D3v's ambition to join the army he can't do a single push up but can do 300 reports which is what the army are looking for. D3v's house has an exit sign and sprinklers as he lives in a council flat in aberdeen which is always flooded as aberdeen is. Below find a photo of what D3v steals from us tax-payers.

 

[[BS] Joshua Bishop]

The real reason @MrLewis is inactive is because he is busy studying for is 6th retake of GCSE Mathematics in January. @John Daymon is aware of this, so is trying to become Senior Admin before the end of the year. However, @John Daymon is fully aware that he is not a good enough to get the position, so he has decided to promote promote bad staff members to the admin to make him seem better. @Brinch oblivious to the fact he is just a pawn in this game, and is just as useful to the admin team as @Medulla is.

@Niko only gets his report count up by handling AFK reports. He would have been demoted by now, but he is only here as the token German to keep @Fredy happy. Unfortunately, @Skudist doesn't count as he is still as useful as an enforcer. I would say the same for @Jon Godinn, as the token Icelandic, but the real reason he hasn't been demoted isn't capable of understanding that the rank of Head Moderator never existed, and if it did, it would go to @D3V. Obviously, @D3V is the best moderator, as he is unemployed and has nothing better to do than spend his life on the sever handling reports.

@Samuel hates everyone on the server. He even offered me £200 to help rig the votes for the best moderator award so that he could just make Oslen Banden even more salty than they usually are. Let's talk about the worst moderator, @Corolla. After @Exrobite left the staff team, we needed a new meme to use a scapegoat for when we did things wrong. @Bolli realised that the best tactic would be Tom Hill, and we could even trick @Medulla into getting him to apply for enforcer. We considered asking @finlay3110 , but then we realised that Finlay might actually do a better job than @Corolla.

The PLPD was driven into stagnation by Jordan (@J) as he can't pay attention to anything for more than 10 minutes. I thought this would be solved when @ayjay took the reigns, until I remembered what he said about his grand plan to take revenge on his community ban. The rest of the PD is simply rigged by the staff members. @Racxes has been in IA for longer than everyone else, and should have been given a higher rank by now, except that @ayjay has to keep deleting IA complaints made against him to improve the image of the staff team.

@Smudger only managed to get Head of Traffic because everyone felt sorry for him, so I had to ask @Wewai not to apply for this role. @Pusheen doesn't do anything for the traffic division, which means he will probably be promoted to Captain soon, because he had enough money to pay @Bolli for his promotion to moderator. @Madda recently got promoted to Head of Support Services in the PD, which is only because nobody else wanted to babysit @Appricey who is not intelligent enough to keep a goldfish alive.

I'd add @LEWIS 088 to the post, but most people have forgotten he is admin by this point.

Edit: It appears @SpaceShots was so insignificant, that nobody put him in the staff list, so I missed him out completely.

Lmao please, youre known as the mayor not as a quality staff member, slow your roll brother.
[DOUBLEPOST=1513700766,1513700411][/DOUBLEPOST]lol everyone is reaching for these roasts. The staff team title is embarrassing enough. What are you STAFF off? oh youre unpaid? so you're a volunteer.

bolli hasn't done shit since 2014
fredy hasn't spread a penny of donations
daymon is a child
lewis goes to the club
moron got us hacked because he reused passwords like a skid
corolla likes the AE86 so much but hasnt even drove one
creepis is a dumbfuck
and anyone I didnt mention is fully irrelevant because all of them are only here to settle juvenile arguments between the dying playerbase which full of grown fucking men that are too childish to talk things out or play by the rules in general. there, everyone got a piece.

 

[Husky]

@D3V

:BabyRage - salty faggot

 

[MegaFro]

no u

 

[Creepis]

Lmao please, youre known as the mayor not as a quality staff member, slow your roll brother.
[DOUBLEPOST=1513700766,1513700411][/DOUBLEPOST]lol everyone is reaching for these roasts. The staff team title is embarrassing enough. What are you STAFF off? oh youre unpaid? so you're a volunteer.

bolli hasn't done shit since 2014
fredy hasn't spread a penny of donations
daymon is a child
lewis goes to the club
moron got us hacked because he reused passwords like a skid
corolla likes the AE86 so much but hasnt even drove one
creepis is a dumbfuck
and anyone I didnt mention is fully irrelevant because all of them are only here to settle juvenile arguments between the dying playerbase which full of grown fucking men that are too childish to talk things out or play by the rules in general. there, everyone got a piece.

you're american, your quality of your roast speaks for itself
[DOUBLEPOST=1513794478][/DOUBLEPOST]

fredy hasn't spread a penny of donations

double post but maybe you should ask the staff team how they spend their 25€ christmas money each year since the past 3 years

 

[money]

Update : The event ends tommorow at any given period, depending if submissions are still coming or not. You can still win a bonus or perhaps one of the prizes.
Once I make a post on the winners is the time when the voting ultimately ended.

[DOUBLEPOST=1514136519,1514039144][/DOUBLEPOST]

Congratulations to all participants.
Winners are as following:
1. @TinySlayer - 51 zings
2. @ayjay ツ - 19 zings
3. @Moon The Goon - 14 zings

Bonus winners : Sneaky - for stealing @Creepis 's ratings and roasting @Samuel while at it.

Thanks for participating, everyone!
Winners send me a message over forums!
Merry christmas!​

 

[money]

@TinySlayer rim licks me and Samuel because he wants Assistant Chief so bad (which he will never get). We sometimes spend time mimicking his kermit-infused voice.

@TinySlayer
I didnt forget this

 

[Itzryzo]

@TinySlayer
I didnt forget this

johnny desperado is cool and i honestly forget whos who on this dumb ass community

 

[Bnjemann]

@TinySlayer rim licks me and Samuel because he wants Assistant Chief so bad (which he will never get).

5 months later...

 

[Moon The Goon]

5 months later...

 

[Daigestive]

@Creepis has to win with this video