It has to come out can't keep it

[DeltaForce]

Hello everyone I would like to give an inside what's currently going on with my life. Just note I do not CARE about my grammar issues in-matter of fact I would request a staff member to edit any if they're found please

So it all started around 5 or 6 years ago when I was in secound grade, and I was at the stage going through a tough time. Firstly my parents were divorced and I was left with going back and forward to visit them both. While I was going through second grade I came up in a fight with one of my friends which almost caused me to kill him: Now you may be thinking Delta what happened well I almost broke his neck, and his spine. When I then moved to third grade when I was around 10 years old I'd began having trouble with math which I still have by the way I also cheated on my girlfriend at the time I REGRET THIS MISTAKE BECAUSE IT CHANGED EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE. Now this is where shit starts to go down my farther and mother had trouble of who should I have my address at so they both went to court to get it decided(note this took about 3 years) meanwhile I was getting help by an psychologist but there was 1 problem she lied in court wia writing a fake report about my mothers side. After my new school drawed attention to me having it hard to learn anything in 4-5 grade they decided to half my homework down. Now the biggest problem yet is that I had a very strong anger issue during a class in 4th grade I believe that a fellow student of my class began to ask my teacher questions about me why did I get special treatment I got so pissed about it so I started pushing chair and table against the class our teacher told everyone to get out and they did.

Due what my past has been I'm currently going through a tough time, and the thoughts of killing myself has began to reach me and I'm depressed already my past time of my life has resulted in:

1 I'm anti-social and depressed
2 No one wants to be my girlfriend anymore due to I'm anti-social
3 I got no real "Friends Friends" that really likes me or thinks I'm a good person
4 I don't trust psychologist anymore
5 I'm emotional unstable without showing it physically but mental In a way it hard to notice
6 The only place I feel like I'm myself is here
7 The thoughts of killing myself is becoming bigger
8 Nothing helps
9 I never say anything about my school other than "its been a great day!" To my parents

Hi I'm Sune Christian Rasmussen I'm 14 and a half and now you know what kind of person I'm. I don't know how long before I can't continue what I love to do.

As I also said before if there is grammar mistakes could a staff please edit my post/thread since I can't mental get me to do out without instantly crying

"Friends you thought that were your friends are just persons that backstabs you instead of being your friend"

//Phone

 

[Ayjay]

mate wait till you start getting taxed.

that's when you'll want suicide.

 

[DeltaForce]

I just want to clean things off the record No this has nothing to do with my current state within the PLPD or my patrol count days nothing like that This was something I meanted to post along time ago but I din't feel ready for posting this at the time

 

[Exnem]

Sad to hear you've been forced to go through this, and from what you explained kind of explains your signature too, hehe.

May as well share some of my own life story why not.

Throughout 1st grade to 6th it was pure hell, it's a scar and a bad memory I'll never forget. Many people experience this, some are lucky to not be exposed to this, some make it their last days. Hopefully you understand what I'm trying to get at here; bullying.
I was exposed to it for 6 years straight, no teacher cared or raised a finger to try to stop it, they idly watched and grinned as I was forced through a bunch of things that no one is meant to go through.

I had 6 years of nothing but suicidal thoughts and extreme depression, anything that reminded me of the terrible past set me off, disturbed me or even annoyed me, I had mood swings. The one moment I was enjoying a movie, the next I was sitting there extremely angry and annoyed.

The day it got out of hand was when I started to retaliate at 5th grade, I wasn't forgiving either. You see, I'm a ticking time bomb of anger waiting to go off, even to this day. None of that anger lasts over long periods of time but when it gets real, it gets really bad. At that point I cared very little about my own health or the person in question when that bomb went off, my objective was to end it.

To this day I hate public areas, the streets, school, shops, etc. I'm anti-social, and not looking for a relationship and I'm overly optimistic in an attempt to forget things.
I think of life as a cruel joke played by my neighbor across the street, because life is nothing but torture in my opinion.

What I'm trying to say is, not everyone here has had a very good time in life, not even I. Keeping calm during stressing situations proves to be a challenge due to this past, however is not difficult enough to tick me off. If my mind is set to it, I will not stop trying to reach that goal.

Hopefully you'll get through this without having to end it far too soon though.

Here, enjoy something I made while I got bored.

Hi Hayden.

 

[Eviction Notice]

share your life story evening:

Primary School:

- prepubescent children with no manners or social standards
- scared shitless of teachers
- got into first fight at 6
- fun over all

Secondary School:

- prepubescent children with no manners or social standards
- scared shitless of teachers
- got into fist fight at 14
- not fun

trust me, life is just one big pain train, but if you look at it as a temporary thing that can be sorted later down the line and keep looking forward, it's easy to think of the few positives in life.

 

[Imperial Watch]

I'm anti-social and depressed

1. Don't mean to sound like a douche, but you're 14 dude. Everyone has had that phase during that time of their lives when they felt something the likes of what youre feeling.

No one wants to be my girlfriend anymore due to I'm anti-social

2. See point 1

I got no real "Friends Friends" that really likes me or thinks I'm a good person

3. Easier said than done, but try seeking out people that you feel you get along with. A toxic friend is no friend at all.

I don't trust phycoligist anymore

4. From what I'm reading, you wouldn't have posted this if you didn't want atleast some help. The best person to give you that help is definitely a psychologist, who you know, has much deeper insight into what you're going through than some guy on PERP forum.

The only place I feel like I'm myself is here

5. Then there's nothing wrong with being on if that is what makes you feel more like yourself. To each their own.

The thoughts of killing myself is becoming bigger

6. Seek help. Like seriously. Again, talk to a professional who knows what they are talking about instead of someone like me.

Nothing helps

7. Not with that attitude.

I never say anything about my school other than "its been a great day!" To my parrents

8. Don't do that. Talk to them. Tell them what you're going through. It would help take the load off if you didn't isolate yourself from those closest to you.

If my post sounds a little cold-hearted, that's because it is, sobbing in a thread for PERP isn't the way to solve your problems. Go out, seek help. From professionals.
All I can say is that life is what you make it, and it's up to you to make something of it.

 

[Freedor]

Hello everyone I would like to give an inside what's currently going on with my life. Just note I do not CARE about my grammar issues in-matter of fact I would request a staff member to edit any if they're found please

So it all started around 5 or 6 years ago when I was in secound grade, and I was at the time going through a tough time. Firstly my parrents were divorced and I was left with going back and forward to visit them both, meanwhile my parrents were divorced before I got into secound grade. While I was going through secound grade a came up in a fight with one of my friends which allmost caused my to kill him: Now you may be thinking Delta what happend well I allmost broke his neck, and his spine. When I then moved to third grade I had began having trouble with math which I still have btw I also cheated on my girlfriend at the time I REGRET THIS MISTAKE BECAUSE IT CHANGED EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE. Now this is where shit starts to go down my farther and mother had trouble of who should I have my address at so they both went to court to get it decided(note this took about 3 years) meanwhile I was getting help by an phycoligist but there was 1 problem she lied in court wia writing a fake report about my mothers side. After my new school drawed attention to me having it hard to learn anything in 4-5 grade they decided to half my homework down. Now the biggest problem yet is that I had a very strong anger issue during a class in 4th grade I believe that a fellow student of my class began to ask my teacher questions about me why did I get special treatment I got so pissed about it so I started pushing chair and table against the class our teacher told everyone to get out and they did.

Due what my past has been I'm currently going through a tough time, and the thougts of killing myself has began to reach me and I'm depressed allready my past time of my life has resulted in:

1 I'm anti-social and depressed
2 No one wants to be my girlfriend anymore due to I'm anti-social
3 I got no real "Friends Friends" that really likes me or thinks I'm a good person
4 I don't trust phycoligist anymore
5 I'm emotional unstable without showing it physicaly but mental In a way it hard to notice
6 The only place I feel like I'm myself is here
7 The thoughts of killing myself is becoming bigger
8 Nothing helps
9 I never say anything about my school other than "its been a great day!" To my parrents

Hi I'm Sune Christian Rasmussen I'm 14 and a half and now you know what kind of person I'm. I don't know how long before I can't continue what I love todo.

As I also said before if there is grammar mistakes could a staff please edit my post/thread since I can't mental get me to do out without instantly crying


//Phone

Holy fuck this is really like what I went through Jesus that hits to close to home. You just need to talk to trusted people, and don't keep secrets. Don't bottle up any feelings, and get help. Not to say that as an insult, get a therapist or something, it helped me.

 

[jxnalx]

My dude, I have been having suicidal thoughts for a few years now. Please Please just wait a bit longer until you get out of school, if people don't like you well then f*ck them. Im sure you are a great person in real life. Right now you just gotta get focused on work friends will come until then, you have a whole sh*t ton of friends within the perpheads community. I know online friends are not the same as real life friends but still.


My suicidal thoughts come from the start of 6th grade (American Middle school) I was actually pretty popular in Elementary (Primary) school. You see my schools popularity system is fucked up its basically who is the most ghetto. There are kids in the hallway everyday wanting to sell you drugs, contraband, etc. Not wanting to get into that I basically had no friends, so that was pretty depressing. But then it started to get worse with me getting into fights (winning lol) meaning I would get suspended and that meaning my parents would get pissed and my dad start getting to the line of abuse. So basically I started being super ignorant and ignoring everyone but somehow that worked and now I got a "squad" In real life.

I know you have heard this a million times but seriously just wait it gets better.

 

[Jimmy]

Meme the pain away.

Internet hugs. Stay strong, there's plenty of us who have gone through troubles in life who'd be happy to talk about it if you ever need to, just drop a message.

 

[Sneaky]

9 I never say anything about my school other than "its been a great day!" To my parrents

Man, if everything you feel, or you're supposed to talk about and just hide it it's like you're attaching a balloon to a pressure washer, it'll pop in no time.
I know exactly what you feel like since my parents are divorcing and i've also done something i really wish i did not and considered very horrible things.

Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems man, it'll hurt your family forever and they'll blame themselfs forever. Nobody wants that.
Do you do any sports? It's very good for your mind and you can even make friends, you have to try no matter how hard it is, once you do, life is like playing against silver 1 ezpz.


Stay frosty, talk to someone and it'll all get out. If you wanna talk just let me now.

 

[Allen Kennedy]

Listen mate, talking to someone who CAN help is what you need. All we can offer is stale memes and half-assed encouragement. Though I'm sure we all appreciate you talking to us about this, I do sincerely recommend getting to a psychologist. Find one who you feel comfortable talking to, and don't hold back any information. After all, if they don't know what hurts they can't make it better.

Off-topic; I think @Riekelt may be reviving (bad meme xd) ParalakeFM some point soon. I reckon you'll enjoy doing that again. If not then feel free to patrol with me some time IG. I'll show you the miseries of mandatory patrol reports.

 

[Deleted member 3902]

.

 

[McYeke]

my inspirational video here.

 

[Venomine]

Y'all talking about how hard life is and shit, y'all not even 16 years old and talking about suicide and shit. You got a roof over your head, you got something to eat and y'all play video games all day. So how about changing yourself rather than changing your gmod characters all the time. Y'all don't even know how to spell tough life, quit with your bullshit ass stories and change yourself, ain't nobody in life gonna give you what you want, you gotta work for it and fuck you talking about cheating on your girlfriend, boy you was 8 years old nigga fuck you mean cheating on your girlfriend.

 

[DeltaForce]

[Don't care about ratings]

Y'all talking about how hard life is and shit, y'all not even 16 years old and talking about suicide and shit. You got a roof over your head, you got something to eat and y'all play video games all day. So how about changing yourself rather than changing your gmod characters all the time. Y'all don't even know how to spell tough life, quit with your bullshit ass stories and change yourself, ain't nobody in life gonna give you what you want, you gotta work for it and fuck you talking about cheating on your girlfriend, boy you was 8 years old nigga fuck you mean cheating on your girlfriend.

Firstly you're wrong I was 10 years old at the time I cheated on my girlfriend since I'm currently in 7th Grade, And if you use math

Spoiler: Math

So lets start with the years between 3th grade and 7th grade (7 - 3 = 4) now let do this same with my age which is currently 14 (14 - 4 = 10) as you can clearly see I was 10 at the time, and not 8

Secound of all you're talking in a very rude way I don 't like your attitude, and you're remind me of a not so very nice person. Of course if that´s how you speak to anyone sure go ahead and do it. I would agree with the part you gotta work for it since its simply mostly what you have to do all the time

Btw don't you got a roof over your head and got something to eat and the best of all play video games. Why would you involve the game Garry's Mod in this reply in the first place?

And yes I can take criticism

 

[cardstarvipe]

[Don't care about ratings]


Firstly you're wrong I was 10 years old at the time I cheated on my girlfriend since I'm currently in 7th Grade, And if you use math

Spoiler: Math

So lets start with the years between 3th grade and 7th grade (7 - 3 = 4) now let do this same with my age which is currently 14 (14 - 4 = 10) as you can clearly see I was 10 at the time, and not 8

Secound of all you're talking in a very rude way I don 't like your attitude, and you're remind me of a not so very nice person. Of course if that´s how you speak to anyone sure go ahead and do it. I would agree with the part you gotta work for it since its simply mostly what you have to do all the time

Btw don't you got a roof over your head and got something to eat and the best of all play video games. Why would you involve the game Garry's Mod in this reply in the first place?

I dont like your attitude aswell cause your bitching about breaking up with your "girlfriend" at 10 years old and being anti social is your own fault go outside then cause bitching on a forum isn't going to do anything about your "problems" -snip-

PS: "Why would you involve the game Garry's Mod in this reply in the first place?"
Because this is a forum about the video game not about sharing personal issues if you really think you need to share some stupid shit like this go get some better special treatment cause the ones your getting right now clearly isn't helping.

And your school's allready making it fucking easy for you
"After my new school drawed attention to me having it hard to learn anything in 4-5 grade they decided to half my homework down"
Your life aint hard your just acting like it is

And how is this post even fucking relevant?

-snip-

 

[Venomine]

[Don't care about ratings]


Firstly you're wrong I was 10 years old at the time I cheated on my girlfriend since I'm currently in 7th Grade, And if you use math

Spoiler: Math

So lets start with the years between 3th grade and 7th grade (7 - 3 = 4) now let do this same with my age which is currently 14 (14 - 4 = 10) as you can clearly see I was 10 at the time, and not 8

Secound of all you're talking in a very rude way I don 't like your attitude, and you're remind me of a not so very nice person. Of course if that´s how you speak to anyone sure go ahead and do it. I would agree with the part you gotta work for it since its simply mostly what you have to do all the time

Btw don't you got a roof over your head and got something to eat and the best of all play video games. Why would you involve the game Garry's Mod in this reply in the first place?

Yea I got a roof over my head and I got food to eat, but I ain't cryin about shit, I try to improve myself rather than trying to kill myself and all that stupid ass emo shit. What you mean you was 10 year old when you cheated on your girlfriend? Did you hug someone else and got her upset? Fuck outta here with that bullshit son, your life ain't hard, sit down.

 

[Chopper]

-snip-

 

[M]

Before the fire is fuelled any further I'm going to close this thread, I understand you wanted to 'open up' to the community and that's exactly what you've done. I cannot fathom why you want an online community to openly debate your personal circumstances.

If anyone really wants to make any further personal remark then they can do so in a private conversation with you, where I'm certain people won't be influenced by the publicity that they would otherwise receive.

Closed