the pinkerton detective agency has dispatched agents to investigate your organisations for violations of the law
upon further inspection it appears you have been cyber bullying one man our documents refer to as "mr sixpack", please cease and desist or our lawmen will begin to hunt you down.
My ex went on a date with a girl on valentines day and said I thought you just want to be friends. Only answer to that question is "fuck no, I wanted a threesome"