Hello Guys, well it has come to my recent attention that schools in general have large bullying problems. Like any good person who grew a pair of balls, I will tell you the secrets on how not to get bullied at school cause your too much of a pussy. Anyways, lets begin.
Lesson 1: If you can't beat them, join them.
Now, that your have been bullied for your whole life, you are wondering. "Bleck jezuz ples gibe teh adveice so i dunt get my arse hended 2 me." Well, kiddo first thing first, becomes friends with a bully. This does not mean the bully that kicks your arse for lunch money on a daily basis, but a slight pussy version of him who won't pick on you. Become close friends, you are less likely to get your ass kicked then.
Now, if this doesn't work for you, read on. You might fucking learn something for once.
Lesson 2: Sniper Bullying
Now, if you are reading this. Everyone thinks of your as a total dumbass and believe you will give them ebola just by talking to you. Now, hopefully you have some friends..hopefully. Anyways, so this generally works if your a junior/senior in your high-school. Now as a junior, I already know that freshmans want to be friends with seniors cause their like a condom, they protect you when your being fucked. Now recruit a general pussy freshman/sophmore. Have him recruit an even pussier kid. Build upon this general proxy. Now that your have like 3-4 pussy ass kids, you can tell them to go harass some kid. And the best part is, that your not being bullied cause your bullying kids, and when the pussy kids get caught by the teachers, they act like a proxy. The teacher nor the kid who got bullied knows that you asked the pussy kid to bully him. They protect you, cause as I said HUMAN PROXYS. Plus, deny all allegations.
Now, if you are not a junior or senior, or no kid looks up to being your friend. You can always attempt the tactics below.
Lesson 3: Self-Mockery
Who doesn't love a self mocking individual.Become a total ass to teachers, make kids laugh cause you fucked up! Make shitty jokes of the teacher while you annoy the shit out of the people who educate your dumbasses. People just love it! But don't be insecure, because you've made so much fun of yourself, that no one wants to do it anymore.
Lesson 4: Sexual Harassment
Well, it seems you've hit rock bottom. Now the only way is up..hopefully. Now this generally works if you are being beaten to a pulp for being a total faggot, like @JarredInator . When a bully comes and starts hitting you say "Stop! You'll give me an erection!" He is going to be so freaked out that he will completely stop and run. Now some girls may even talk to you, cause they know 100% that you are gay.
Well hopefully this taught you a lot on how not to be beaten up on a daily basis.
With Love,
Black Jesus
Lesson 1: If you can't beat them, join them.
Now, that your have been bullied for your whole life, you are wondering. "Bleck jezuz ples gibe teh adveice so i dunt get my arse hended 2 me." Well, kiddo first thing first, becomes friends with a bully. This does not mean the bully that kicks your arse for lunch money on a daily basis, but a slight pussy version of him who won't pick on you. Become close friends, you are less likely to get your ass kicked then.
Now, if this doesn't work for you, read on. You might fucking learn something for once.
Lesson 2: Sniper Bullying
Now, if you are reading this. Everyone thinks of your as a total dumbass and believe you will give them ebola just by talking to you. Now, hopefully you have some friends..hopefully. Anyways, so this generally works if your a junior/senior in your high-school. Now as a junior, I already know that freshmans want to be friends with seniors cause their like a condom, they protect you when your being fucked. Now recruit a general pussy freshman/sophmore. Have him recruit an even pussier kid. Build upon this general proxy. Now that your have like 3-4 pussy ass kids, you can tell them to go harass some kid. And the best part is, that your not being bullied cause your bullying kids, and when the pussy kids get caught by the teachers, they act like a proxy. The teacher nor the kid who got bullied knows that you asked the pussy kid to bully him. They protect you, cause as I said HUMAN PROXYS. Plus, deny all allegations.
Now, if you are not a junior or senior, or no kid looks up to being your friend. You can always attempt the tactics below.
Lesson 3: Self-Mockery
Who doesn't love a self mocking individual.Become a total ass to teachers, make kids laugh cause you fucked up! Make shitty jokes of the teacher while you annoy the shit out of the people who educate your dumbasses. People just love it! But don't be insecure, because you've made so much fun of yourself, that no one wants to do it anymore.
Lesson 4: Sexual Harassment
Well, it seems you've hit rock bottom. Now the only way is up..hopefully. Now this generally works if you are being beaten to a pulp for being a total faggot, like @JarredInator . When a bully comes and starts hitting you say "Stop! You'll give me an erection!" He is going to be so freaked out that he will completely stop and run. Now some girls may even talk to you, cause they know 100% that you are gay.
Well hopefully this taught you a lot on how not to be beaten up on a daily basis.
With Love,
Black Jesus
