Well hello there,
I'm going to start with a tl;dr just for @thehomelessdude
If you were curious enough to read the above spoiler you already know what's happening
. I think it's important for me to say that I've left a few times before. But each time I've been asked to come back to help the amazing Community Managers. Seeing as I'm a person who is more or less willing to do most things to help friends, I've always agreed. On top of that, it has always been nice to come back with fresh eyes, especially as it's easy to get blind when holding a position for a long time. On top of that, it might be important to say that I left at the very beginning of this month which some seem to have noticed as I haven't been around at all.
I got a tendency to write very long messages for some unknown reason. So if this becomes toooooo long or too detailed, I apologize in advance. So let's start! I've got no intentions of coming back to PERP in any capacity. Recent unnamed changes have made me pretty uncomfortable in the Community, which is something I am not willing to deal with seeing as my mental state right now is pretty bad, and I fear staying could make it worse as PERP would no longer be a place I can just relax and for a moment forget about everything else. As anyone who has read that Mental Health thread posted by @Synatec (big ups) I've myself struggled with pretty severe depression for years due to my childhood. Many years ago I was diagnosed with High Functioning Autism, Attention Deficit Disorder, Tourettes, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, and of course depression. And more recently I've been investigated for Bipolar Disorder. For years I've been in denial of the above, a denial that ended at the end of 2020 which caused major issues such as a very deep period of major depression, suicide attempts, forced hospitalizations, and late-night knockings on my bedroom door by police officers/medics wanting to take me to the hospital.
You might now think why am I writing this? Well, it's to come to the point that I would like to apologize to anyone that I might offend, etc... during my time on PERP, especially the past 4-5 months I've changed my personality a lot. Which has caused tensions between me and some fellow community members. Situations I probably was in the wrong, without really realizing it even if it was obvious to others. Which is something I can realize after a bit but usually at that point people have taken offense. These situations have often occurred due to the above, probably due to my possible Bipolar Disorder, and my lack of understanding of social situations due to my Autism. I don't think there is a point in tagging people I've felt I've done wrong, but I am sure the people affected know who they are and to those, I would like to say, I'm sorry. I've was raised by my father to not say sorry, that it was a sign of weakness and that you should instead just do the same mistake again. This is unfortunately something I do to this day, so saying the word "sorry" is kind of hard for me. So it's a very sincere "I'm sorry".
I think many people can relate to PERP being a "safe space", which is good, really good! I know many people in the community have been through pretty hard stuff, so it's nice that PERP can help a little. I've had this discussion with many people, and I know that many people in this community are facing issues every day of their lives. So I hope that PERP stays a "safe space" for them. If not I would suggest you approach Tyla or Efan as I know they want to make everyone feel at home. So don't be afraid of approaching them.
Anyways this was my long post. I'm going to move on from PERP, and my plan is to start playing golf again, try to start racing in motocross again, and start playing FiveM roleplay (which is extremely nice, and FiveM is so powerful, I highly recommend it!).
Note; Anyone I owe money to for report counts, contact @Madda and he will happily help you!
I'm now going to take the retirement exit, and claim my 401k! Maybe I'll even take one of those retirement cruises to the Bahamas!
People usually put a long list here, I'm not going to do that. It would be way too long. So I'll only be putting down one name, and that is @TinySlayer . Even though I've met some incredible people on here, and made very nice friends. When it comes down to it I've probably enjoyed my time with TinySlayer the most, and I've probably learned the most from him. He's been very supportive especially when it has come to Development stuff. And he has always believed in me and given amazing, and constructive feedback, which is pretty rare especially within the development business. I've especially enjoyed our banter in-game and our common hate of people who are loud. I wish you the best and I hope everything goes well with that expensive thing
I'll probably be in your parts this year for a conference unless COVID cancels it again, if not maybe we can take a bear! And discuss how to deal with loud people 
Anyways, goodbye!
@Jack Bruhross We need to play Tarkov soon or your bird will start saying bad words. I've got him on Myspace so watch it!
@Madda "Chief of the watch, take her down 800 feet, zero bubble, Smartly"
@Efan Don't crash again
I'm going to start with a tl;dr just for @thehomelessdude
I've left, goodbye
If you were curious enough to read the above spoiler you already know what's happening
. I think it's important for me to say that I've left a few times before. But each time I've been asked to come back to help the amazing Community Managers. Seeing as I'm a person who is more or less willing to do most things to help friends, I've always agreed. On top of that, it has always been nice to come back with fresh eyes, especially as it's easy to get blind when holding a position for a long time. On top of that, it might be important to say that I left at the very beginning of this month which some seem to have noticed as I haven't been around at all.I got a tendency to write very long messages for some unknown reason. So if this becomes toooooo long or too detailed, I apologize in advance. So let's start! I've got no intentions of coming back to PERP in any capacity. Recent unnamed changes have made me pretty uncomfortable in the Community, which is something I am not willing to deal with seeing as my mental state right now is pretty bad, and I fear staying could make it worse as PERP would no longer be a place I can just relax and for a moment forget about everything else. As anyone who has read that Mental Health thread posted by @Synatec (big ups) I've myself struggled with pretty severe depression for years due to my childhood. Many years ago I was diagnosed with High Functioning Autism, Attention Deficit Disorder, Tourettes, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, and of course depression. And more recently I've been investigated for Bipolar Disorder. For years I've been in denial of the above, a denial that ended at the end of 2020 which caused major issues such as a very deep period of major depression, suicide attempts, forced hospitalizations, and late-night knockings on my bedroom door by police officers/medics wanting to take me to the hospital.
You might now think why am I writing this? Well, it's to come to the point that I would like to apologize to anyone that I might offend, etc... during my time on PERP, especially the past 4-5 months I've changed my personality a lot. Which has caused tensions between me and some fellow community members. Situations I probably was in the wrong, without really realizing it even if it was obvious to others. Which is something I can realize after a bit but usually at that point people have taken offense. These situations have often occurred due to the above, probably due to my possible Bipolar Disorder, and my lack of understanding of social situations due to my Autism. I don't think there is a point in tagging people I've felt I've done wrong, but I am sure the people affected know who they are and to those, I would like to say, I'm sorry. I've was raised by my father to not say sorry, that it was a sign of weakness and that you should instead just do the same mistake again. This is unfortunately something I do to this day, so saying the word "sorry" is kind of hard for me. So it's a very sincere "I'm sorry".
I think many people can relate to PERP being a "safe space", which is good, really good! I know many people in the community have been through pretty hard stuff, so it's nice that PERP can help a little. I've had this discussion with many people, and I know that many people in this community are facing issues every day of their lives. So I hope that PERP stays a "safe space" for them. If not I would suggest you approach Tyla or Efan as I know they want to make everyone feel at home. So don't be afraid of approaching them.
Anyways this was my long post. I'm going to move on from PERP, and my plan is to start playing golf again, try to start racing in motocross again, and start playing FiveM roleplay (which is extremely nice, and FiveM is so powerful, I highly recommend it!).
Note; Anyone I owe money to for report counts, contact @Madda and he will happily help you!
I'm now going to take the retirement exit, and claim my 401k! Maybe I'll even take one of those retirement cruises to the Bahamas!
People usually put a long list here, I'm not going to do that. It would be way too long. So I'll only be putting down one name, and that is @TinySlayer . Even though I've met some incredible people on here, and made very nice friends. When it comes down to it I've probably enjoyed my time with TinySlayer the most, and I've probably learned the most from him. He's been very supportive especially when it has come to Development stuff. And he has always believed in me and given amazing, and constructive feedback, which is pretty rare especially within the development business. I've especially enjoyed our banter in-game and our common hate of people who are loud. I wish you the best and I hope everything goes well with that expensive thing
I'll probably be in your parts this year for a conference unless COVID cancels it again, if not maybe we can take a bear! And discuss how to deal with loud people Anyways, goodbye!
@Jack Bruhross We need to play Tarkov soon or your bird will start saying bad words. I've got him on Myspace so watch it!
@Madda "Chief of the watch, take her down 800 feet, zero bubble, Smartly"
@Efan Don't crash again
goodluck on your future endeavours as a PERPHeads.com developer.
