Hello I am THE SPOOK, a 1 year old member of this community, some of you would say I am new some of you won't. I already mentioned in some previous posts on this forum that PERPHeads helped me with giving me more trust in myself and actually telling me that having a voice won't be as scared as I thought it would be.
I will put a lot of effort In this recommendation as I will open myself, which I find extremely difficult to do.
Let me start off with previous year and how this affected me... so previous year I joined this community which was something great I played a big part of my summer break and enjoyed doing it. I then got back to school, with a voice and new hope of it turning out good after all.... unfortunately this didn't happen at all and teachers were actually causing me to lose trust in myself and others as they did a lot of things sneakily behind my back, this resolved in me getting into a phase of heavy depression, which was eventually resulting in me taking my own life as I already was planning on the easiest and painless way to do so. I came back to the community while in this phase of depression and was very unsecure of myself, I remember feeling another atmosphere on the server, an atmosphere I wasn't used to feel from perp so I left the server. I looked into the shoutbox and saw someone posting a link of MrLewis' twitch channel. I wasn't used to twitch and didnt use it that much but I decided to take a look.
After lurking around for 15 minutes I grabbed all my courage and said "hi" (Remember all the trust in myself was basicly gone and I was preparing for the worst) I thought people would just ignore me, and just tabbed to another screen... then I heard "Hello spooky, how has your day been" me being shocked quickly tabbed back into the screen to reply to Lewis. I didn't know Lewis at all and he didnt know me at all aswell, but he showed me there was a place in his "shitty little community" for even someone as broken as me, I then realised he gave me another place (than perp) to go to when things went bad for me, I became a very active follower and watching his streams and just talking to Lewis and everyone else in there brought me some new friends, courage and it helped me to get out of this phase of depression.
you might say: "Spook, anyone else would get this recommendation if they were the one you started watching" but this definitely isn't the case. Due to me being "broken" by school many times in the past did I become very carefull with people, and I could feel if people were honest and nice and if they pretended to be. So I wouldn't put my trust in just someone, but Lewis is someone in who I did put my trust and someone who did help me a lot.
My grades at that moment, as school wasnt over yet, were 30% overall, I totally gave up hope in life and school, after feeling totally accepted in Lewis' twitch community I got a little hope and started studying my arse off and I made it to the next year...
Lewis earned my complete trust, and is one of the few people that has earned that, still if I have any problems at all, I go to him and he helps me with this. People say the Internet is a dangerous place, but people like MrLewis prove to me the contrary
This post is not to make you guys feel sorry for me or anything, as I know some of you guys have had tougher times in their lifes, it is just to thank @MrLewis for helping me out when I needed it the most. for giving me another community where I feel welcome at all times and where he does all he can to prevent the atmosphere gettting destroyed there. basicly he made an "Internet safe zone" for me.
ofcourse it isn't just Lewis, it is also some other people of this community that helped me through these times when I needed it the most but it mainly was Lewis and I really appreciate that.
so 1 last thank you to @MrLewis for helping me out so much.
I will put a lot of effort In this recommendation as I will open myself, which I find extremely difficult to do.
Let me start off with previous year and how this affected me... so previous year I joined this community which was something great I played a big part of my summer break and enjoyed doing it. I then got back to school, with a voice and new hope of it turning out good after all.... unfortunately this didn't happen at all and teachers were actually causing me to lose trust in myself and others as they did a lot of things sneakily behind my back, this resolved in me getting into a phase of heavy depression, which was eventually resulting in me taking my own life as I already was planning on the easiest and painless way to do so. I came back to the community while in this phase of depression and was very unsecure of myself, I remember feeling another atmosphere on the server, an atmosphere I wasn't used to feel from perp so I left the server. I looked into the shoutbox and saw someone posting a link of MrLewis' twitch channel. I wasn't used to twitch and didnt use it that much but I decided to take a look.
After lurking around for 15 minutes I grabbed all my courage and said "hi" (Remember all the trust in myself was basicly gone and I was preparing for the worst) I thought people would just ignore me, and just tabbed to another screen... then I heard "Hello spooky, how has your day been" me being shocked quickly tabbed back into the screen to reply to Lewis. I didn't know Lewis at all and he didnt know me at all aswell, but he showed me there was a place in his "shitty little community" for even someone as broken as me, I then realised he gave me another place (than perp) to go to when things went bad for me, I became a very active follower and watching his streams and just talking to Lewis and everyone else in there brought me some new friends, courage and it helped me to get out of this phase of depression.
you might say: "Spook, anyone else would get this recommendation if they were the one you started watching" but this definitely isn't the case. Due to me being "broken" by school many times in the past did I become very carefull with people, and I could feel if people were honest and nice and if they pretended to be. So I wouldn't put my trust in just someone, but Lewis is someone in who I did put my trust and someone who did help me a lot.
My grades at that moment, as school wasnt over yet, were 30% overall, I totally gave up hope in life and school, after feeling totally accepted in Lewis' twitch community I got a little hope and started studying my arse off and I made it to the next year...
Lewis earned my complete trust, and is one of the few people that has earned that, still if I have any problems at all, I go to him and he helps me with this. People say the Internet is a dangerous place, but people like MrLewis prove to me the contrary
This post is not to make you guys feel sorry for me or anything, as I know some of you guys have had tougher times in their lifes, it is just to thank @MrLewis for helping me out when I needed it the most. for giving me another community where I feel welcome at all times and where he does all he can to prevent the atmosphere gettting destroyed there. basicly he made an "Internet safe zone" for me.
ofcourse it isn't just Lewis, it is also some other people of this community that helped me through these times when I needed it the most but it mainly was Lewis and I really appreciate that.
so 1 last thank you to @MrLewis for helping me out so much.
