Might take English dunno, here is a cringey story.

[Teemo]

Right so pretty much I am just starting my GCSE's and have been picked for this special English course for the "gifted" so I am also liking history rn and got a history essay I have to do so I wrote a mini story about World War 2 (the end) and I want opinions.

Spoiler: Story

Berlin, Germany 1945. The Schutzstaffel were standing behind the looming statue named Helmuth Weidling, he wore his uniform with honour his multiple medals and stripes polished on par to the standard of his military parade shoes.

His furled brow as he consulted with the Füher about further plans, but everyone in that bunker knew they were in for a hellish night. The Soviets surrounded the bunker, getting closer and closer ,while their artillery bombarded the remaining troops.

Then Eva Braun steps in, her light brown hair like a knife through the atmosphere, everyone's shoulder slumped. It was always like this though, Adolf would give his tremendous speeches leaving everyone breath taken with his captivating charisma then they would be relieved to see the shining sun of Germany bouncing off the radiant hair of the Führer's wife.

Eva approaches the Führer and with a seductive sweep of her hair just tickling the edge of Adolf's nose she whispers in his ear and leads him off to their private study. Minutes later a loud bang, a slam against the floor then another, glass breaking in the study, the SS rush in and find the Führer laid with Eva Braun in his arms and blood splattering the desk and floor. A Walther PPK laid at the Hitler's feet. A partially cracked vial in Eva's hand.

That left one fucked up Germany.

 

[Collier]

The Schutzstaffel were stood behind the looming statue

To my knowledge, there is no grammatical rule which allows a writer to combine those 2 tenses. You are attempting to describe an event that happened in the past but is not completed. In English, the correct tenses to use are continuous/progressive tenses. Your case requires the 'past progressive/continuous' tense to be used. 'The Schutzstaffel were stood...' is an incorrectly formed progressive sentence due to your use of the past tense of 'to be' and the past participle of 'to stand'. If you had used the present participle of 'to stand' instead, your sentence would have been correct.

This is a relatively common mistake (for some reason), especially for people living in the North of the UK. I believe it is part of a dialect, but has somehow spread across the whole country and even to the US. It is also fairly common to come across people saying 'I was sat...', which is also incorrect.

 

[Deleted member 1235]

All of those in the bunker were aware of the Fuhrer intention to commit suicide, and as a result I think only Otto Günsche went in after the two gun shots.

Hitler performed no speeches in the last months of the reich. His final radio broadcast was nothing compared to the rallying cries of 1941. Reichminister Doktor Goeballs took the forefront, even creating the Volksturm.

In terms of English usage, this seems like the simple way of gaining marks. Simply by adding a few adjectives here and there, whilst good, should be developed.

Don't just describe physical settings or appearances, go more into emotional states such as:

"The SS officer sharply raised his arm and stared into the eyes of Wilhelm Keitel. 6 years of war were evident on the battle scared face of the officer. A man who had kept going since 1943, knowing all hope in the final victory was now nothing but a trivial dream.
Keitel pinned the pristine iron cross to the officers chest, before taking a step backwards..."