Might I suggest that if you feel that a staff member is doing something inappropriate and are misusing their rank, to please make a staff complaint? This clearly seems to be one of your concerns as displayed in the appendices section of your post.
While I think that drawing attention to the staff team as a whole is perfectly fine, and may be beneficial to solve a problem, the way you have presented it does not feel serious and could be done without the satire. This way, we can all have a civil discussion and not a bunch of people just saying rude shit about community members as a call to action.
Furthermore, these concerns of "community is dead" etc. are 100% valid and of real concern to the staff team and the rest of the community. The reason that sometimes these threads are brushed under the rug is that they are nothing but someone trying to be a big ol meme and get some winner ratings. -- At the end of the day, if you feel like you are able to bring a serious suggestion about how to fix any of these problems, please do.