Post your most embarrassing moments that were your fault

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I'll start.

There was this girl I really liked, and I could tell she liked me too. So at school one day, we walk by each other in the corridor, she smiles at me, and then pulls me to the side to start talking to me. We talk for a while before she tells me she likes me.

mfw j6PUc.jpg

So she goes in for a kiss, and for whatever fucking reason I decide to maintain a certain length from our faces, to the point of me falling over. It just looked like I rejected her, and I'm the floor after hitting my head, she walks off looking like she's about to cry and everyone is giving me the stink eye.

And that's the story of the first time I acted like a retard.
 
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The story is 100% true.

And there is a fine line between a story about mild autism and literal life and death.
 
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A real story: (very real)

I was planning to do a School shooter, so sneak my gun into my pocket and when I was in front of the teacher, I forgot the Ammo home.
Then the teacher which is a fat woman, pulled down her pants and we all seen a Dick, she tried to rape me, but luckily i was fast enough to escape her.

This is my too real story where I felt really embarrassed

(read this while listening to this:
 
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When I was little I fell on my hand in an awkward position when playing football and I fractured it and badly pulled the ligaments in my wrist. So I ended up getting a cast on my hand/wrist and one time my friend who was a lass who was also my crush came over my house one day and we were talking an messing around and then she took my bus pass which had a really cringy and embarrassing picture of me on it and I was chasing her around my living room to get it back and I fuckin slipt on the wooden floor and landed on my hand/wrist and it fuckin hurt like hell and I screamed out of sheer pain. I mean call me a pussy if you want but that hurt and if I could have held the shout in I would have lol. So this happened in front of my crush and my parents rushed in thinking I got stabbed. Next thing I know is that I am sitting on the sofa next to my crush trying to hold the fuckin tears in and we just laughed it out. That was very embarrassing. smooth
 
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I was a little kid and pretty stupid, and was playing in the school yard at saturday. I had the brilliant idea to stick my head through the fence and move up, and that's how you get stuck.

My little brother panicking and me just sitting there stuck when the principal who happened to be at school pushed my head down and promptly released me... yep.. I could've just moved my head down and gotten unstuck.
 
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yeah he probably just went to the school yard to play cus he was bored in the weekends
 
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literally ate a joint on a date. just sucked that fucker down. she tried to give me a cigarette and when i put it in my mouth i coughed it and some of the weed back up in her face.
 
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in some countries you go to school on saturday and you get wednesday off instead
 
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